You can stop me if you get sick of hearing this phrase someday, but for now, let me have my moment: I went on the most amazingly wonderful 9 hour date with Eli today/tonight! Its 1:30 a.m. and I'm just getting in!
It happened like this: Eli and I were texting this afternoon as I was trying to get a bit of work done, but was feeling incredibly distracted by the amazing day that was alluding me outside. We were sending back in forth those typical "whatareyoudoing?" texts, when he asked if I would be up to going on a walk at a local nature center. We agreed to meet at 4:30 and I literally didn't start fretting until 5 minutes before I had to walk out of the door when I realized that I was wearing a similar sweater to the one I wore on our first date, and that my jeans looked awkward with my tennis shoes, and that I just had to change clothes!
When we arrived at the nature center, we found out that it had closed early for a special event, and ended up heading to a huge park in the middle of the city. I dug around in my trunk until I found a dollar store frisbee that I always keep, and we headed to a clearing to toss around the frisbee and to talk. We're both excellent frisbee throwers, if I do say so myself, so we started challenging ourselves by throwing with our left hands until we mastered that as well, and then decided to walk and talk towards a soccer game that we saw going on earlier. As we approached, the guys were packing up, and we ended up in the parking lot near our cars watching people play with radio controlled model airplanes for a while.
From there, we decided that it'd be fun to grab dinner and a movie, since there was a new comedy out he was interested in, and we were both hungry. We had a great dinner, talked about some serious somber issues, and made it to the theater minutes before the film started. The movie was hilarious and we laughed and laughed, and he did this cute thing, where he'd lean in really close to make comments on the movie to me. I swear, every time his forehead touched part of mine, my heart would flutter.
The movie let out around 10 pm, and I figured that the night was over...but as we were walking towards the parking lot, he asked if I'd be up for playing a few games at Dave and Buster's and I happily obliged. So, we played and laughed like kids, and again, my heart fluttered every time he'd touch the small of my back, or put his hand on my shoulder to pull me in for a comment.
When we'd spent all of our money, and cashed in our game tickets, he said "What next?" and then suggested that we go out for drinks at a bar. So, I suggested one of my favorite places, that is super-casual since neither of us was dressed up.
I introduced him to his first frozen screwdriver, and he informed me that it just might be too "girlie" for him to consume in the future. We talked a lot about school and kept staring intently at one another throughout our conversations until I'd get nervous, smile, and look away before resuming eye contact.
We stayed at the bar until 1:00 a.m. and then he walked me to my car. As we were walking, he asked me if I had any idea when I woke up this morning that I'd have such a full day. When we reached my car, he gave me a huge hug--so that our frozen ears rubbed against each other, and told me that he had so much fun with me today.
The feelings are so mutual,
-L
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
match point
On Sunday I found out that my Tuesday night obligation would be moved to Thursday, so as Eli and I were texting, I asked him if we could switch our tennis game back to Tuesday. He thought it was fine, and I checked the weather which would be 30+ degrees warmer on Tuesday vs. Thursday, so it was definitely a go.
I met him at the tennis club he usually plays at, that happens to be about 5 minutes from where I work. He smiled when he saw me, and we shook hands, before he pulled me in for a quick side hug and we headed for the court. We started out by warming up, hitting a few balls back and forth and talking, and then played about 9 games--because I was desperate to start running around to warm up. We laughed a lot, complimented each other on awesome shots, and Eli beat me...a lot. At one point, I jokingly complained that I was never going to win, and he started fudging the score so that I could get in a win. I'd hit the ball way out of the court, and he'd claim that it was good. I'd call out 15-30, and he wouldn't let me serve until I said 30-15. It was sweet. He told me afterwards that he thought I was a "really good tennis player....just not..." I finished for him, "...consistent." I guess we'll just have to practice more so I can get better, right? :)
After tennis, we headed for dinner and then sat at the restaurant and talked for a couple of hours before we agreed it was getting late and he had to get home to study. We hugged, in a half-side, half-front awkward-kinda-hug, and he pressed his cheek against mine and then we parted ways. Of course, he called to make sure I made it home safely again. So sweet!
We've been texting for the past hour or so, and I have to keep telling myself not to fret and to just let things happen naturally. But people, its hard to not let this bit of excitement go to my head. We're playing tennis again on Sunday, and he just suggested that we start playing together a couple of times each week if we can coordinate our schedules. Oh, and he told me that I make him nervous! Yeah right!
Keeping calm, and carrying on,
L
I met him at the tennis club he usually plays at, that happens to be about 5 minutes from where I work. He smiled when he saw me, and we shook hands, before he pulled me in for a quick side hug and we headed for the court. We started out by warming up, hitting a few balls back and forth and talking, and then played about 9 games--because I was desperate to start running around to warm up. We laughed a lot, complimented each other on awesome shots, and Eli beat me...a lot. At one point, I jokingly complained that I was never going to win, and he started fudging the score so that I could get in a win. I'd hit the ball way out of the court, and he'd claim that it was good. I'd call out 15-30, and he wouldn't let me serve until I said 30-15. It was sweet. He told me afterwards that he thought I was a "really good tennis player....just not..." I finished for him, "...consistent." I guess we'll just have to practice more so I can get better, right? :)
After tennis, we headed for dinner and then sat at the restaurant and talked for a couple of hours before we agreed it was getting late and he had to get home to study. We hugged, in a half-side, half-front awkward-kinda-hug, and he pressed his cheek against mine and then we parted ways. Of course, he called to make sure I made it home safely again. So sweet!
We've been texting for the past hour or so, and I have to keep telling myself not to fret and to just let things happen naturally. But people, its hard to not let this bit of excitement go to my head. We're playing tennis again on Sunday, and he just suggested that we start playing together a couple of times each week if we can coordinate our schedules. Oh, and he told me that I make him nervous! Yeah right!
Keeping calm, and carrying on,
L
Saturday, February 5, 2011
adventures in online dating part 5: Sweet Eli
I went on an amazing date today with a boy from the interwebs named Eli. Eli and I have been exchanging messages for the past 3 weeks or so, and by Monday I thought that it was time we met up. I messaged him to ask him out for coffee, he accepted, and we met at one of my favorite places at 3 pm. I beat him there, ordered an iced chai latte, and he called a couple of times to (1) tell me he was running about 5 minutes late, and then (2) tell me that he was having a difficult time finding parking.
I settled at a table, and looked up from the Tetris game on my phone, just as he was walking in. We shook hands and talked as he was standing in line for hot chocolate. The first thing I noticed is that he has these amazing medium-brown eyes that I had to keep looking away from, because they were making me nervous (in a girlie-giddy kinda way). We settled in at a new table, started asking and answering those usual first-date kinda questions. Everything felt really comfortable. Eli is from Cameroon and has a deliberate, gentle way of speaking that kinda makes you hang onto his words. Our conversation had a few natural long pauses but, overall, flowed pretty easily.
After our first round of drinks, we decided to walk a couple of blocks to a frozen yogurt place that we'd just discussed liking, and sat and ate yogurt and talked about our families and our future babies (well, not "our" future babies, per say..but how many kids we wanted, where we wanted to live, etc, etc). Then, when the yogurt was consumed, we strolled around for another hour and a half popping in and out of shops and talking, and talking, and talking. Eli and I seem to have similar personalities: we're both relatively reserved, but really great at one-on-one conversations. We quickly developed a rapport with one another which made it easy to joke around throughout the date.
Eventually we made our way back to my car that was parked in front of the coffee shop and he told me that he'd like to ask me for dinner, but that he'd already made plans to meet up with a friend. He, instead, asked me out for dinner on Tuesday night. I told him that I'd be busy on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, so we settled for a tennis match and dinner after work on Thursday (if the weather is nice), or just dinner if it is not. And then we shook hands again, because it seemed like the most appropriate gesture and he watched me get into my car before walking back to his.
He called me about 10 minutes after I got home to make sure that I made it safely and to tell me that he enjoyed our date! And now, Thursday seems so far away...
Please excuse me while I melt!
-L
I settled at a table, and looked up from the Tetris game on my phone, just as he was walking in. We shook hands and talked as he was standing in line for hot chocolate. The first thing I noticed is that he has these amazing medium-brown eyes that I had to keep looking away from, because they were making me nervous (in a girlie-giddy kinda way). We settled in at a new table, started asking and answering those usual first-date kinda questions. Everything felt really comfortable. Eli is from Cameroon and has a deliberate, gentle way of speaking that kinda makes you hang onto his words. Our conversation had a few natural long pauses but, overall, flowed pretty easily.
After our first round of drinks, we decided to walk a couple of blocks to a frozen yogurt place that we'd just discussed liking, and sat and ate yogurt and talked about our families and our future babies (well, not "our" future babies, per say..but how many kids we wanted, where we wanted to live, etc, etc). Then, when the yogurt was consumed, we strolled around for another hour and a half popping in and out of shops and talking, and talking, and talking. Eli and I seem to have similar personalities: we're both relatively reserved, but really great at one-on-one conversations. We quickly developed a rapport with one another which made it easy to joke around throughout the date.
Eventually we made our way back to my car that was parked in front of the coffee shop and he told me that he'd like to ask me for dinner, but that he'd already made plans to meet up with a friend. He, instead, asked me out for dinner on Tuesday night. I told him that I'd be busy on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, so we settled for a tennis match and dinner after work on Thursday (if the weather is nice), or just dinner if it is not. And then we shook hands again, because it seemed like the most appropriate gesture and he watched me get into my car before walking back to his.
He called me about 10 minutes after I got home to make sure that I made it safely and to tell me that he enjoyed our date! And now, Thursday seems so far away...
Please excuse me while I melt!
-L
not that into me
I've come to the conclusion that Mark has completely forgotten about me, for real this time. I thought we had something going there with our emails...but its been about 2.5 weeks since he last wrote, and I'm thinking its a probably a no-go. I'm a smart girl and, I guess I feel like, if he were interested, he'd write me. Plain and simple. Let's say it all together: He's just not that into you.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
..and then there was one...
It's 1:30 a.m. and I just woke up from a midnight nap. I'd told myself I was *not* going to fall asleep on my couch once again...but I swear that love seat just sucked me in!
I decided to check my email one last time before dragging myself to bed and I was surprised to see that both Mark and Terrell both wrote me back a few hours ago...just about 15 minutes apart from one another.
I went for Mark's email first. It was sweet--like the first one--and I decided that I've completely forgiven him for making me wait the first time. Mark mentioned that his schedule is super-busy for the next few weeks, as is mine, so it sounds like this thing will remain over email for a while. I'm good with that. It'll give us some time to see if this could be something.
Terrell's email was shocking:
I can completely understand what you are looking for. I guess I am really looking for a no strings attached sexual relationship, or to fall in love! (I know completely different sides of the spectrum) I have been in a long term and wonderful relationship before, so I know how good that can be, unfortunately I don't think that right now I am in the position in life to commit myself to something which requires that much attention.
I can understand if that is not what you are looking for. It is only a phase I am in now and not ideal I know. Just wanted to be honest from my end.
- Terrell
I can't get over the fact that I misread him so completely--and I'm sure my girlfriends will be surprised as well. Each girl told me individually after the event that they thought this guy was perfect for me. Man, out of all of the guys in the room that night, he definitely wouldn't have been the one I would have pegged for being in it for sex...but I guess I was wrong.
Ick! I'm speechless.
- L
I decided to check my email one last time before dragging myself to bed and I was surprised to see that both Mark and Terrell both wrote me back a few hours ago...just about 15 minutes apart from one another.
I went for Mark's email first. It was sweet--like the first one--and I decided that I've completely forgiven him for making me wait the first time. Mark mentioned that his schedule is super-busy for the next few weeks, as is mine, so it sounds like this thing will remain over email for a while. I'm good with that. It'll give us some time to see if this could be something.
Terrell's email was shocking:
I can completely understand what you are looking for. I guess I am really looking for a no strings attached sexual relationship, or to fall in love! (I know completely different sides of the spectrum) I have been in a long term and wonderful relationship before, so I know how good that can be, unfortunately I don't think that right now I am in the position in life to commit myself to something which requires that much attention.
I can understand if that is not what you are looking for. It is only a phase I am in now and not ideal I know. Just wanted to be honest from my end.
- Terrell
I can't get over the fact that I misread him so completely--and I'm sure my girlfriends will be surprised as well. Each girl told me individually after the event that they thought this guy was perfect for me. Man, out of all of the guys in the room that night, he definitely wouldn't have been the one I would have pegged for being in it for sex...but I guess I was wrong.
Ick! I'm speechless.
- L
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
what I'm looking for
So, Terrell’s email on Sunday night really got me thinking about what I’m looking for. I guess that if I’m going to have a blog about dating…I should probably be able to answer that pretty easily.
I stopped to think about my past relationships; what they lacked, why they didn’t work out…and everything boiled down to a single word: Companionship
To me, that word always conjures up images of an old unmarried couple that is, like, always together because they treasure their relationship, but don’t want to mess things up by getting married. Strange visual, I know.
This is not what I mean.
Basically, I realized that every single one of my past relationships lacked the strong foundation of a committed friendship which is why they, ultimately, failed. There was nothing to fall back on when the passion was over, or the when the arguments got a little too personal and hit way too close to home. There were never those deep connections and thoughts that—you know, no matter what the circumstance—I’ll truly be there for you. I’ve had these connections in several platonic guy-friendships, but never with a boyfriend. Strange, I know.
What I’m looking for is a companion, an amazing friendship…that is so much more than just a friendship. I want someone to share my life with.
So, in an attempt to not scare the boy off, this was part of my response to Terrell on Monday:
As far as relationships go, I think that I'm really just looking for companionship. And, while that word may have some intense/negative connotations, I guess I just mean that I'm looking for someone to hang out with & explore the city with, cook dinner with occasionally, go to movies with, grab coffee with, talk with, etc. I'm interested in building a good foundation and seeing where the relationship goes.
I think that in some of my previous relationships, I got caught up in the idea of "being in the relationship" or "being with" the other person that the foundational part was seriously lacking.
I don’t know if/how he’ll respond, but I think it’s the most honest I could’ve been with a boy that I dated for 5 minutes. Take it or leave it.
- L
I stopped to think about my past relationships; what they lacked, why they didn’t work out…and everything boiled down to a single word: Companionship
To me, that word always conjures up images of an old unmarried couple that is, like, always together because they treasure their relationship, but don’t want to mess things up by getting married. Strange visual, I know.
This is not what I mean.
Basically, I realized that every single one of my past relationships lacked the strong foundation of a committed friendship which is why they, ultimately, failed. There was nothing to fall back on when the passion was over, or the when the arguments got a little too personal and hit way too close to home. There were never those deep connections and thoughts that—you know, no matter what the circumstance—I’ll truly be there for you. I’ve had these connections in several platonic guy-friendships, but never with a boyfriend. Strange, I know.
What I’m looking for is a companion, an amazing friendship…that is so much more than just a friendship. I want someone to share my life with.
So, in an attempt to not scare the boy off, this was part of my response to Terrell on Monday:
As far as relationships go, I think that I'm really just looking for companionship. And, while that word may have some intense/negative connotations, I guess I just mean that I'm looking for someone to hang out with & explore the city with, cook dinner with occasionally, go to movies with, grab coffee with, talk with, etc. I'm interested in building a good foundation and seeing where the relationship goes.
I think that in some of my previous relationships, I got caught up in the idea of "being in the relationship" or "being with" the other person that the foundational part was seriously lacking.
I don’t know if/how he’ll respond, but I think it’s the most honest I could’ve been with a boy that I dated for 5 minutes. Take it or leave it.
- L
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
(side note)
While I was on the exciting “high” from the fact that Terrell and I matched on Wednesday, I nonchalantly checked my email while gushing with my girlfriend on just how exciting it would be if she hit things off with Travis, and I with Terrell…and how we could go on double dates…and have a double wedding*…and let our future babies go on play dates…and…
And…oh my goodness!...Mark wrote back!
He apologized profusely about not writing me for nearly a month and said that he was just really busy around Christmas and was just getting around to catching up on emails. He hoped that I didn’t think he was a jerk. Mark said that his cousin, my co-worker, indeed told him that she thought we would be perfect for one another, but that he’d let me and time decide that. He sent a rather lengthy email introducing himself (impressive) and then asked how my week was going and if I had any more questions for him.
I made him wait until Saturday before responding. (Hey…don’t judge me…he made me wait nearly a month!) I’m patiently waiting for his response.
- L
*Oh, of course I’m totally kidding about the double wedding bit…
And…oh my goodness!...Mark wrote back!
He apologized profusely about not writing me for nearly a month and said that he was just really busy around Christmas and was just getting around to catching up on emails. He hoped that I didn’t think he was a jerk. Mark said that his cousin, my co-worker, indeed told him that she thought we would be perfect for one another, but that he’d let me and time decide that. He sent a rather lengthy email introducing himself (impressive) and then asked how my week was going and if I had any more questions for him.
I made him wait until Saturday before responding. (Hey…don’t judge me…he made me wait nearly a month!) I’m patiently waiting for his response.
- L
*Oh, of course I’m totally kidding about the double wedding bit…
Monday, January 17, 2011
8 x 5: Speed-dating Round 2
On Tuesday night, three of my girlfriends and I went out for another Speed-Dating "party" because one of the girls who didn't go with us the first time has been trying to get a group together since last spring and we all felt bad putting her off another month. This time, I didn't worry too much about getting to dazzled up because...quite frankly, it was freezing outside and way too chilly to try to look cute.
The venue was in a really nice neighborhood, and the host was not openly flirting with all of the guys who walked in the door. (A plus from last time!) We also made it just in time for the dates and got to avoid the awkward period before the event started of everyone standing around trying desperately *not* to make eye contact with anyone across the room.
8 girls. 8 guys. 5 minutes per date. My picks were:
Curtis: The comedian. My date with him was definitely the most enjoyable one of the evening..simply because he had a wonderful sense of humor and I laughed for most of the evening. Curtis was the extraordinarily extroverted type that I'm attracted to, but is never good for me. He's in the IT field and seemed to have a love/hate relationship with is job. (Hmm, would it be weird, dating another Curtis so soon after the last one?)
Travis: The boy next door. (Do people even say that?) Travis reminded me of the guy from the last event that everyone matched with. He just seemed like a nice boy that any girl would be interested in spending time with. He had a nice mix of seriousness and humor that was charming. He's a graduate student that lives in Galveston.
Terrell: The smart one. Terrell was my second favorite date and not only smart, but also really adorable. He's also a graduate student in Galveston (and good friends with Travis whom he attended the event with). We talked a bit about his research and some about his time living on the East coast...and I just felt really comfortable with him. After the event wrapped up, we got a little more chatting in and I honestly felt that he would be the best match for me, personality-wise.
So, on Wednesday evening....I went home to check my matches and...
...I matched with...
..(drumroll please)...
Terrell!
Two of the girls matched with Travis, and one of those girls also matched with two other guys. Unfortunately, the girl who got everyone out to the event didn't match with anyone. But, luckily, the company offers a free ticket to the next party so that she can go again.
I waited for much of the week to see if Terrell would email me, [while this is a good medium for meeting people, its still a bit disconcerting because you never know if you're just one of multiple matches for someone], and when I didn't hear from him by Saturday afternoon, I broke down and wrote him first.
He wrote back last night, apologizing for not contacting me sooner, and then ended the email with this question, "So, what exactly are you looking for in your next relationship?" I read the question over and over and consulted with a couple of girl friends. It's a hard question to answer to someone who you just went on a 5 minute date with...since my answer could determine the fate of our potential relationship. "How?" You ask. Well, it could go like this:
Me: "I'm looking for a long-term commitment."
Him: "Oh wow. I just got out of something serious, I just want to casually date."
Or like this:
Me: "I'm just looking to casually date right now. I'm really busy with my career."
Him: "Well, we may not be so great together, I'm ready to settle down."
Ugh Terrell! But, the more I thought of the question over night, the more I realized that its an answer I should figure out soon.
- L
The venue was in a really nice neighborhood, and the host was not openly flirting with all of the guys who walked in the door. (A plus from last time!) We also made it just in time for the dates and got to avoid the awkward period before the event started of everyone standing around trying desperately *not* to make eye contact with anyone across the room.
8 girls. 8 guys. 5 minutes per date. My picks were:
Curtis: The comedian. My date with him was definitely the most enjoyable one of the evening..simply because he had a wonderful sense of humor and I laughed for most of the evening. Curtis was the extraordinarily extroverted type that I'm attracted to, but is never good for me. He's in the IT field and seemed to have a love/hate relationship with is job. (Hmm, would it be weird, dating another Curtis so soon after the last one?)
Travis: The boy next door. (Do people even say that?) Travis reminded me of the guy from the last event that everyone matched with. He just seemed like a nice boy that any girl would be interested in spending time with. He had a nice mix of seriousness and humor that was charming. He's a graduate student that lives in Galveston.
Terrell: The smart one. Terrell was my second favorite date and not only smart, but also really adorable. He's also a graduate student in Galveston (and good friends with Travis whom he attended the event with). We talked a bit about his research and some about his time living on the East coast...and I just felt really comfortable with him. After the event wrapped up, we got a little more chatting in and I honestly felt that he would be the best match for me, personality-wise.
So, on Wednesday evening....I went home to check my matches and...
...I matched with...
..(drumroll please)...
Terrell!
Two of the girls matched with Travis, and one of those girls also matched with two other guys. Unfortunately, the girl who got everyone out to the event didn't match with anyone. But, luckily, the company offers a free ticket to the next party so that she can go again.
I waited for much of the week to see if Terrell would email me, [while this is a good medium for meeting people, its still a bit disconcerting because you never know if you're just one of multiple matches for someone], and when I didn't hear from him by Saturday afternoon, I broke down and wrote him first.
He wrote back last night, apologizing for not contacting me sooner, and then ended the email with this question, "So, what exactly are you looking for in your next relationship?" I read the question over and over and consulted with a couple of girl friends. It's a hard question to answer to someone who you just went on a 5 minute date with...since my answer could determine the fate of our potential relationship. "How?" You ask. Well, it could go like this:
Me: "I'm looking for a long-term commitment."
Him: "Oh wow. I just got out of something serious, I just want to casually date."
Or like this:
Me: "I'm just looking to casually date right now. I'm really busy with my career."
Him: "Well, we may not be so great together, I'm ready to settle down."
Ugh Terrell! But, the more I thought of the question over night, the more I realized that its an answer I should figure out soon.
- L
Thursday, January 13, 2011
the BIG update entry
As I warned everyone when this thing started, I haven't been the best about blogging...but I'm working on it. I figure it may just be best to do one big update to catch up and then to try to start writing more regularly, again. Don't hold it against me when you don't hear from me again for another 4 months! ;)
the english wedding: My friend's English wedding was absolutely beautiful and the post-wedding vacation, was one of the greatest travel experiences I've had in a long time. Being a tourist is fun! Being a tourist in an English-speaking country is even more fun! Unfortunately, I didn't find love in England, but it was a blast all the same and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything!
adventures in online dating part 4 or "that thing": In my haste of catching up on my online dating experiences, I decided that this guy didn't need a whole entry to himself because he was a jerk and I'm not particularly interested in rehashing everything that happened in great detail. The basics--I met Vince on OkCupid one Saturday morning, we went on our first "dinner & a movie date" the very next day, then I took dinner and a movie to his apartment on Tuesday, and when we talked on Friday and Sunday. I thought things were pretty much over after our talks since we came to the conclusion that we didn't/couldn't agree on a few major issues and neither of us was willing to compromise. He called me out of the blue the next Friday to invite me to a party, we had a good weekend, a couple-y week, and he ended things the following Friday. It all boiled down to him wanting "that thing" and me not wanting to put out. His loss. And if you don't know what "that thing" is ask Ms. Lauyrn Hill.
office romance: The thing with Derek is over. I mean, I realized nothing was really there and I accepted the fact that nothing was ever going to be there...and I'm really comfortable with that conclusion. We've actually become really good friends over the past several months and I hang out with him and Troy and some other work friends on a pretty regular basis. I love that he still randomly texts me and asks me to come out for drinks, and I've had fun introducing him to my non-work friends. We spent the second half (post-midnight) of New Years together and he's asked me to come out a few more times since then.
the past: My ex-boyfriend, Malik, moved back to Houston around Thanksgiving (with the girlfriend in tow), and has not-so-surprisingly been texting & calling me to ask if I want to meet up. I know that "meeting up" is a really bad idea...so I've successfully been turning him down. I'll give him credit for his perseverance, though!
the future: In November, one of my co-workers told me that she's met "my future husband" who happens to be her cousin's son, Mark. She swore up and down for two months that this boy and I would be absolutely perfect for one another and kept trying to think of ways for us to meet. In late December, I told her that it would be easiest if we could just exchange a few emails to get to know one another that way, first, and wouldn't have some awkward introduction. She ended up giving me his email address, and I sent him an "introduction" email on December 20. He didn't write back. I feel like an idiot.
Back to the drawing board.
- L
the english wedding: My friend's English wedding was absolutely beautiful and the post-wedding vacation, was one of the greatest travel experiences I've had in a long time. Being a tourist is fun! Being a tourist in an English-speaking country is even more fun! Unfortunately, I didn't find love in England, but it was a blast all the same and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything!
adventures in online dating part 4 or "that thing": In my haste of catching up on my online dating experiences, I decided that this guy didn't need a whole entry to himself because he was a jerk and I'm not particularly interested in rehashing everything that happened in great detail. The basics--I met Vince on OkCupid one Saturday morning, we went on our first "dinner & a movie date" the very next day, then I took dinner and a movie to his apartment on Tuesday, and when we talked on Friday and Sunday. I thought things were pretty much over after our talks since we came to the conclusion that we didn't/couldn't agree on a few major issues and neither of us was willing to compromise. He called me out of the blue the next Friday to invite me to a party, we had a good weekend, a couple-y week, and he ended things the following Friday. It all boiled down to him wanting "that thing" and me not wanting to put out. His loss. And if you don't know what "that thing" is ask Ms. Lauyrn Hill.
office romance: The thing with Derek is over. I mean, I realized nothing was really there and I accepted the fact that nothing was ever going to be there...and I'm really comfortable with that conclusion. We've actually become really good friends over the past several months and I hang out with him and Troy and some other work friends on a pretty regular basis. I love that he still randomly texts me and asks me to come out for drinks, and I've had fun introducing him to my non-work friends. We spent the second half (post-midnight) of New Years together and he's asked me to come out a few more times since then.
the past: My ex-boyfriend, Malik, moved back to Houston around Thanksgiving (with the girlfriend in tow), and has not-so-surprisingly been texting & calling me to ask if I want to meet up. I know that "meeting up" is a really bad idea...so I've successfully been turning him down. I'll give him credit for his perseverance, though!
the future: In November, one of my co-workers told me that she's met "my future husband" who happens to be her cousin's son, Mark. She swore up and down for two months that this boy and I would be absolutely perfect for one another and kept trying to think of ways for us to meet. In late December, I told her that it would be easiest if we could just exchange a few emails to get to know one another that way, first, and wouldn't have some awkward introduction. She ended up giving me his email address, and I sent him an "introduction" email on December 20. He didn't write back. I feel like an idiot.
Back to the drawing board.
- L
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
adventures in online dating part 3: english rendezvous or what happens in england...
I debated about whether or not to put this entry in my "online dating" section because it doesn't exactly fit--but I did meet the guy online...and we did go on, what turned out to be, a date...and so here it is.
The back-story: When I was 14 years old, my family got a little something called the internet. I'm talking about the screeching & screaming dial-up connection that bumped you off-line anytime someone called on the phone. Which, in a family of 6, happened all of the time...until my parents broke down and got a second line. Well, back in my day, the internet was a fun and happy place to explore (Internet predators? What are those?) so, my fellow middle school friends and I spent our evenings in chatrooms chatting with each other and with people that lived all over the world.
One night, middle-school-me met a guy named Dave who was a college student in Scotland. Of course I lied, and told him I was 16 (hey, my 15th birthday was only weeks away) and we started an online friendship. We chatted for a few years, here and there [side note: I was a nerdy kid, but not nerdy enough to not have a real life outside of the internet...] and ended up keeping in touch as I moved, graduated from high school, went off to college, and got my first job. We grew very far apart over the years, usually just checking in with each other every few years with a random email here, or a postcard or Christmas card there. We became Facebook friends about a year ago, and randomly post on each others’ walls once in a while. We often joked about someday meeting up....
The present: So, as I mentioned in a couple of previous posts, I had a wedding in September to go to in England in a little town called Durham that is about 150 miles from the border of Scotland, and about a 3 hour drive from Dave. As the trip drew closer, Dave and I started talking more and more about the possibility of meeting up since we would actually be *so close* and hey, we were both honestly very curious about one another. When my trip itinerary came together, mixed with the wedding event schedule, we discovered that the Friday afternoon prior to the wedding would be the best time to meet up. So we agreed to it in a private Facebook message, just before it was time for me to dash to the airport to make my flight.
In Durham, I told my bride-to-be-friend about the planned rendezvous, and she gave the hardest time. "How can you possibly already have a date 3 days after you get to England?!?" I assured her and reassured her that it was definitely *not* a date, and that it was just going to be two old friends, meeting up for lunch. Nothing more. She assured me (jokingly, of course) that she was going to check-in on us at the coffee shop to make sure he seemed legit, and that he wasn't some crazy serial killer that wasn't going to get off on killing me and throwing my body into the river. Let’s hope not.
The day of the meeting was the day of my friend's bridal brunch. I opted for a cute black dress, a purple cardigan (the weather was beautiful!) and flat black, ballet-type, sparkly shoes. Dave and I made plans to meet at a cute coffee shop in Durham at noon for lunch, and I gave all of the girls my plans—as well as a copy of his picture, his phone number, and his last known address. The plan was that I’d hang out with Dave until about 3 pm (if things went well), and then I’d meet the girls to tour Durham Castle at 3 pm, and we’d make our way back to the church for the wedding rehearsal at 5 pm.
I was incredibly nervous. Dave was driving to Durham. I was ready to bail!
Here's how it went down:
11:58 am: I arrive at the coffee shop to look for Dave—I see no sign of him and decide to race to the loo because I think I just may throw up my entire brunch out of sheer nervousness.
12:07 pm: I thank God that I didn't lose my brunch, and head to the counter to order a drink. Yes, its always good to order first to avoid the awkward "Who's going to pay?" moments...and to have something to keep yourself occupied. I get a blended Italian cream soda and move to a little café table outside.
12:11 pm: Still no sign of Dave. I discover a "Welcome to Durham" travel brochure in my bag. This will keep me busy for a while.
12:16 pm: I finish reading the "Welcome to Durham" travel brochure cover to cover. No sign of Dave. I decide to move to a different seat. This particular coffee shop is on a busy street corner in town. Perhaps he’s walked by a few times and just didn’t see me?
12:28 pm: I bump into my bride-to-be friend and her mother. She's frantically apologizing—she didn’t intentionally stop by to check in on me, the coffee shop is on a busy street corner…but while she’s here…OMG—where is he? Her Mom is there, looking very confused until my friend quickly explains, "She's about to meet a guy she met online thirteen years ago!" And I know her mom is thinking, "Oh, my! What if he’s an internet sexual predator?!? Shouldn’t Chris Hansen be here?"
12:33 pm: I decide to move back to my original table—next to the door. I figure that he’d likely look for me inside, if he didn’t immediately see me outside, and I could always catch him that way.
12:46 pm: I see one of the girls walk by with a few souvenirs in tow and ask her if I can use her iPhone to check my Facebook messages, to see if he’s even still coming. I’d, indeed, received this message from him sent at 9:30 a.m.:
Well, I'm just about to set off. Hopefully I won't be late, but don't panic if I am. I'm sure I won't be too long. I'm wearing a mostly white t-shirt with a bit of blue on it. Well, see you in 2 and a half hours, hopefully.
And, indeed, at about 12:58 pm, I see a skinny, pale, English guy, jogging towards my table, who can only be Dave. He sat down next to me, slightly out of breath and everything just felt…well comfortable.
We commented, of course, on how strange it was to finally meet up, and he got a second wind and asked if I wanted to walk around the town for a bit. I think that we were both just too nervous to eat, so I was definitely up for that option.
We walked along the banks of the river that runs through the town and talked, and talked and talked some more. We caught up on family, work, past relationships, etc. It was literally like a movie: A picturesque, sunny, English day (very rare), the token couple making out on the river banks, and cute conversations.
Scene: Dave and I walking up a steep cobblestone path
Me: Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize we were going to do all of this walking! I totally wore the wrong shoes. My feet are killing me.
Dave: Well, if you can’t make it, I’ll carry you!
Me: You can’t carry me…I’m way too heavy!
Dave: Oh, I can do it. I’m strong! (Dave flexes his non-existent muscles)
Me: Umm…you were supposed to say, “No, you aren’t heavy!”
Dave: Oh, right...can we try it again?
*long pause*
Me: I totally wore the wrong shoes. My feet are killing me.
Dave: Well, if you can’t make it, I’ll carry you!
Me: You can’t carry me…I’m way too heavy!
Dave: You’re not heavy….but I’m also really strong!
Eh, I tried. :) We made our way to Durham Castle and took tons of pictures, and then I dragged him through town as I made my way to little boutiques to pick up souvenirs for my family. Around 2:30 we headed to a coffee shop, for more talking and as 3 pm drew close, we mutually decided that we weren’t ready for the date to end. He figured that if he waited to leave town, rush hour would end and the drive back to Scotland would be easier. I decided that I couldn’t manage the steep cobblestone-y walk back up to the Castle with the girls.
So, we met the girls to (show them that I was still alive and) tell them that I wasn’t going with them, but would instead see them at the church at 5 pm. Dave and I popped into a few bookstores, sports equipment stores, and electronics stores, and at about 4:55, he walked me to the church.
We stood on the curb outside of the church hugging and joking about how we should definitely do it all again…in 13 more years! And then, I pulled away from the hug and we looked into each others’ eyes. I think I said something like, “Umm…should we?...”
And he leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips.
I melted. We said our good-byes again and split ways. We didn’t end up seeing each other again during the trip because with the wedding stuff, and his plans, and my travel itinerary…it just wouldn’t work out. But, it was a really magical day that I will treasure always.
Now, make no mistake, I’m not about to pack up my belongings and move to Scotland. We were really just two old friends who met in England and had this really great day together…and happened to kiss each other because it felt right. But who knows, maybe we'll meet up again in another 13 years...Before Sunrise/Before Sunset - style.
-L
The back-story: When I was 14 years old, my family got a little something called the internet. I'm talking about the screeching & screaming dial-up connection that bumped you off-line anytime someone called on the phone. Which, in a family of 6, happened all of the time...until my parents broke down and got a second line. Well, back in my day, the internet was a fun and happy place to explore (Internet predators? What are those?) so, my fellow middle school friends and I spent our evenings in chatrooms chatting with each other and with people that lived all over the world.
One night, middle-school-me met a guy named Dave who was a college student in Scotland. Of course I lied, and told him I was 16 (hey, my 15th birthday was only weeks away) and we started an online friendship. We chatted for a few years, here and there [side note: I was a nerdy kid, but not nerdy enough to not have a real life outside of the internet...] and ended up keeping in touch as I moved, graduated from high school, went off to college, and got my first job. We grew very far apart over the years, usually just checking in with each other every few years with a random email here, or a postcard or Christmas card there. We became Facebook friends about a year ago, and randomly post on each others’ walls once in a while. We often joked about someday meeting up....
The present: So, as I mentioned in a couple of previous posts, I had a wedding in September to go to in England in a little town called Durham that is about 150 miles from the border of Scotland, and about a 3 hour drive from Dave. As the trip drew closer, Dave and I started talking more and more about the possibility of meeting up since we would actually be *so close* and hey, we were both honestly very curious about one another. When my trip itinerary came together, mixed with the wedding event schedule, we discovered that the Friday afternoon prior to the wedding would be the best time to meet up. So we agreed to it in a private Facebook message, just before it was time for me to dash to the airport to make my flight.
In Durham, I told my bride-to-be-friend about the planned rendezvous, and she gave the hardest time. "How can you possibly already have a date 3 days after you get to England?!?" I assured her and reassured her that it was definitely *not* a date, and that it was just going to be two old friends, meeting up for lunch. Nothing more. She assured me (jokingly, of course) that she was going to check-in on us at the coffee shop to make sure he seemed legit, and that he wasn't some crazy serial killer that wasn't going to get off on killing me and throwing my body into the river. Let’s hope not.
The day of the meeting was the day of my friend's bridal brunch. I opted for a cute black dress, a purple cardigan (the weather was beautiful!) and flat black, ballet-type, sparkly shoes. Dave and I made plans to meet at a cute coffee shop in Durham at noon for lunch, and I gave all of the girls my plans—as well as a copy of his picture, his phone number, and his last known address. The plan was that I’d hang out with Dave until about 3 pm (if things went well), and then I’d meet the girls to tour Durham Castle at 3 pm, and we’d make our way back to the church for the wedding rehearsal at 5 pm.
I was incredibly nervous. Dave was driving to Durham. I was ready to bail!
Here's how it went down:
11:58 am: I arrive at the coffee shop to look for Dave—I see no sign of him and decide to race to the loo because I think I just may throw up my entire brunch out of sheer nervousness.
12:07 pm: I thank God that I didn't lose my brunch, and head to the counter to order a drink. Yes, its always good to order first to avoid the awkward "Who's going to pay?" moments...and to have something to keep yourself occupied. I get a blended Italian cream soda and move to a little café table outside.
12:11 pm: Still no sign of Dave. I discover a "Welcome to Durham" travel brochure in my bag. This will keep me busy for a while.
12:16 pm: I finish reading the "Welcome to Durham" travel brochure cover to cover. No sign of Dave. I decide to move to a different seat. This particular coffee shop is on a busy street corner in town. Perhaps he’s walked by a few times and just didn’t see me?
12:28 pm: I bump into my bride-to-be friend and her mother. She's frantically apologizing—she didn’t intentionally stop by to check in on me, the coffee shop is on a busy street corner…but while she’s here…OMG—where is he? Her Mom is there, looking very confused until my friend quickly explains, "She's about to meet a guy she met online thirteen years ago!" And I know her mom is thinking, "Oh, my! What if he’s an internet sexual predator?!? Shouldn’t Chris Hansen be here?"
12:33 pm: I decide to move back to my original table—next to the door. I figure that he’d likely look for me inside, if he didn’t immediately see me outside, and I could always catch him that way.
12:46 pm: I see one of the girls walk by with a few souvenirs in tow and ask her if I can use her iPhone to check my Facebook messages, to see if he’s even still coming. I’d, indeed, received this message from him sent at 9:30 a.m.:
Well, I'm just about to set off. Hopefully I won't be late, but don't panic if I am. I'm sure I won't be too long. I'm wearing a mostly white t-shirt with a bit of blue on it. Well, see you in 2 and a half hours, hopefully.
And, indeed, at about 12:58 pm, I see a skinny, pale, English guy, jogging towards my table, who can only be Dave. He sat down next to me, slightly out of breath and everything just felt…well comfortable.
We commented, of course, on how strange it was to finally meet up, and he got a second wind and asked if I wanted to walk around the town for a bit. I think that we were both just too nervous to eat, so I was definitely up for that option.
We walked along the banks of the river that runs through the town and talked, and talked and talked some more. We caught up on family, work, past relationships, etc. It was literally like a movie: A picturesque, sunny, English day (very rare), the token couple making out on the river banks, and cute conversations.
Scene: Dave and I walking up a steep cobblestone path
Me: Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize we were going to do all of this walking! I totally wore the wrong shoes. My feet are killing me.
Dave: Well, if you can’t make it, I’ll carry you!
Me: You can’t carry me…I’m way too heavy!
Dave: Oh, I can do it. I’m strong! (Dave flexes his non-existent muscles)
Me: Umm…you were supposed to say, “No, you aren’t heavy!”
Dave: Oh, right...can we try it again?
*long pause*
Me: I totally wore the wrong shoes. My feet are killing me.
Dave: Well, if you can’t make it, I’ll carry you!
Me: You can’t carry me…I’m way too heavy!
Dave: You’re not heavy….but I’m also really strong!
Eh, I tried. :) We made our way to Durham Castle and took tons of pictures, and then I dragged him through town as I made my way to little boutiques to pick up souvenirs for my family. Around 2:30 we headed to a coffee shop, for more talking and as 3 pm drew close, we mutually decided that we weren’t ready for the date to end. He figured that if he waited to leave town, rush hour would end and the drive back to Scotland would be easier. I decided that I couldn’t manage the steep cobblestone-y walk back up to the Castle with the girls.
So, we met the girls to (show them that I was still alive and) tell them that I wasn’t going with them, but would instead see them at the church at 5 pm. Dave and I popped into a few bookstores, sports equipment stores, and electronics stores, and at about 4:55, he walked me to the church.
We stood on the curb outside of the church hugging and joking about how we should definitely do it all again…in 13 more years! And then, I pulled away from the hug and we looked into each others’ eyes. I think I said something like, “Umm…should we?...”
And he leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips.
I melted. We said our good-byes again and split ways. We didn’t end up seeing each other again during the trip because with the wedding stuff, and his plans, and my travel itinerary…it just wouldn’t work out. But, it was a really magical day that I will treasure always.
Now, make no mistake, I’m not about to pack up my belongings and move to Scotland. We were really just two old friends who met in England and had this really great day together…and happened to kiss each other because it felt right. But who knows, maybe we'll meet up again in another 13 years...Before Sunrise/Before Sunset - style.
-L
Sunday, January 9, 2011
adventures in online dating part 2: Jamaican Tim
I met Jamaican Tim on August 15th after nearly two months of online communication. I think after the crazy date with Jimmy, I was ready to meet someone older, and hopefully much more mature. I'm calling this one Jamaican Tim because he reminded me almost exactly of my best college guy-friend, Tim, except he was this adorable African-Chinese Jamaican guy who, unfortunately, didn't have an accent.
We met at my favorite coffee shop/wine bar so I sipped a glass of sangria while JT settled on black coffee. We had a great time with the classic getting-to-know you first date questions and I was amused by his little Tim-mannerisms...which included long thoughtful pauses in the conversations, and him verbally running through his entire thought process before responding to certain questions. It was charming. After the first date, JT invited me to his work Christmas party (a little premature?) and we made tentative plans for dinner the following weekend.
We talked once during the week--I was greeting card shopping, and the conversation went well until he strangely got weirded out to find out that I was at the grocery store. (Sir, its a little something called multi-tasking.) He rushed me off of the phone, and I declined to ask him out again until I had an art event to attend that I thought he would appreciate.
Date number two started out rocky--he hated said art event, and was super-anxious for a while. Literally pacing the floor at one point. Then, we went out for coffee and had another amazing night of conversation. Since the second date was five nights before my summer trip to England for the wedding, we left off with plans to reconnect when I got back to town in mid-Sept.
We talked a couple of times in late September, and then I just realized that he wasn't going to be the one for me and I let the whole thing fizzle. Lets face the brutal fact: I can't date someone who doesn't take initiative to ask me out...ever. Bye-bye Jamaican Timothy.
-L
We met at my favorite coffee shop/wine bar so I sipped a glass of sangria while JT settled on black coffee. We had a great time with the classic getting-to-know you first date questions and I was amused by his little Tim-mannerisms...which included long thoughtful pauses in the conversations, and him verbally running through his entire thought process before responding to certain questions. It was charming. After the first date, JT invited me to his work Christmas party (a little premature?) and we made tentative plans for dinner the following weekend.
We talked once during the week--I was greeting card shopping, and the conversation went well until he strangely got weirded out to find out that I was at the grocery store. (Sir, its a little something called multi-tasking.) He rushed me off of the phone, and I declined to ask him out again until I had an art event to attend that I thought he would appreciate.
Date number two started out rocky--he hated said art event, and was super-anxious for a while. Literally pacing the floor at one point. Then, we went out for coffee and had another amazing night of conversation. Since the second date was five nights before my summer trip to England for the wedding, we left off with plans to reconnect when I got back to town in mid-Sept.
We talked a couple of times in late September, and then I just realized that he wasn't going to be the one for me and I let the whole thing fizzle. Lets face the brutal fact: I can't date someone who doesn't take initiative to ask me out...ever. Bye-bye Jamaican Timothy.
-L
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