I debated about whether or not to put this entry in my "online dating" section because it doesn't exactly fit--but I did meet the guy online...and we did go on, what turned out to be, a date...and so here it is.
The back-story: When I was 14 years old, my family got a little something called the internet. I'm talking about the screeching & screaming dial-up connection that bumped you off-line anytime someone called on the phone. Which, in a family of 6, happened all of the time...until my parents broke down and got a second line. Well, back in my day, the internet was a fun and happy place to explore (Internet predators? What are those?) so, my fellow middle school friends and I spent our evenings in chatrooms chatting with each other and with people that lived all over the world.
One night, middle-school-me met a guy named Dave who was a college student in Scotland. Of course I lied, and told him I was 16 (hey, my 15th birthday was only weeks away) and we started an online friendship. We chatted for a few years, here and there [side note: I was a nerdy kid, but not nerdy enough to not have a real life outside of the internet...] and ended up keeping in touch as I moved, graduated from high school, went off to college, and got my first job. We grew very far apart over the years, usually just checking in with each other every few years with a random email here, or a postcard or Christmas card there. We became Facebook friends about a year ago, and randomly post on each others’ walls once in a while. We often joked about someday meeting up....
The present: So, as I mentioned in a couple of previous posts, I had a wedding in September to go to in England in a little town called Durham that is about 150 miles from the border of Scotland, and about a 3 hour drive from Dave. As the trip drew closer, Dave and I started talking more and more about the possibility of meeting up since we would actually be *so close* and hey, we were both honestly very curious about one another. When my trip itinerary came together, mixed with the wedding event schedule, we discovered that the Friday afternoon prior to the wedding would be the best time to meet up. So we agreed to it in a private Facebook message, just before it was time for me to dash to the airport to make my flight.
In Durham, I told my bride-to-be-friend about the planned rendezvous, and she gave the hardest time. "How can you possibly already have a date 3 days after you get to England?!?" I assured her and reassured her that it was definitely *not* a date, and that it was just going to be two old friends, meeting up for lunch. Nothing more. She assured me (jokingly, of course) that she was going to check-in on us at the coffee shop to make sure he seemed legit, and that he wasn't some crazy serial killer that wasn't going to get off on killing me and throwing my body into the river. Let’s hope not.
The day of the meeting was the day of my friend's bridal brunch. I opted for a cute black dress, a purple cardigan (the weather was beautiful!) and flat black, ballet-type, sparkly shoes. Dave and I made plans to meet at a cute coffee shop in Durham at noon for lunch, and I gave all of the girls my plans—as well as a copy of his picture, his phone number, and his last known address. The plan was that I’d hang out with Dave until about 3 pm (if things went well), and then I’d meet the girls to tour Durham Castle at 3 pm, and we’d make our way back to the church for the wedding rehearsal at 5 pm.
I was incredibly nervous. Dave was driving to Durham. I was ready to bail!
Here's how it went down:
11:58 am: I arrive at the coffee shop to look for Dave—I see no sign of him and decide to race to the loo because I think I just may throw up my entire brunch out of sheer nervousness.
12:07 pm: I thank God that I didn't lose my brunch, and head to the counter to order a drink. Yes, its always good to order first to avoid the awkward "Who's going to pay?" moments...and to have something to keep yourself occupied. I get a blended Italian cream soda and move to a little café table outside.
12:11 pm: Still no sign of Dave. I discover a "Welcome to Durham" travel brochure in my bag. This will keep me busy for a while.
12:16 pm: I finish reading the "Welcome to Durham" travel brochure cover to cover. No sign of Dave. I decide to move to a different seat. This particular coffee shop is on a busy street corner in town. Perhaps he’s walked by a few times and just didn’t see me?
12:28 pm: I bump into my bride-to-be friend and her mother. She's frantically apologizing—she didn’t intentionally stop by to check in on me, the coffee shop is on a busy street corner…but while she’s here…OMG—where is he? Her Mom is there, looking very confused until my friend quickly explains, "She's about to meet a guy she met online thirteen years ago!" And I know her mom is thinking, "Oh, my! What if he’s an internet sexual predator?!? Shouldn’t Chris Hansen be here?"
12:33 pm: I decide to move back to my original table—next to the door. I figure that he’d likely look for me inside, if he didn’t immediately see me outside, and I could always catch him that way.
12:46 pm: I see one of the girls walk by with a few souvenirs in tow and ask her if I can use her iPhone to check my Facebook messages, to see if he’s even still coming. I’d, indeed, received this message from him sent at 9:30 a.m.:
Well, I'm just about to set off. Hopefully I won't be late, but don't panic if I am. I'm sure I won't be too long. I'm wearing a mostly white t-shirt with a bit of blue on it. Well, see you in 2 and a half hours, hopefully.
And, indeed, at about 12:58 pm, I see a skinny, pale, English guy, jogging towards my table, who can only be Dave. He sat down next to me, slightly out of breath and everything just felt…well comfortable.
We commented, of course, on how strange it was to finally meet up, and he got a second wind and asked if I wanted to walk around the town for a bit. I think that we were both just too nervous to eat, so I was definitely up for that option.
We walked along the banks of the river that runs through the town and talked, and talked and talked some more. We caught up on family, work, past relationships, etc. It was literally like a movie: A picturesque, sunny, English day (very rare), the token couple making out on the river banks, and cute conversations.
Scene: Dave and I walking up a steep cobblestone path
Me: Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize we were going to do all of this walking! I totally wore the wrong shoes. My feet are killing me.
Dave: Well, if you can’t make it, I’ll carry you!
Me: You can’t carry me…I’m way too heavy!
Dave: Oh, I can do it. I’m strong! (Dave flexes his non-existent muscles)
Me: Umm…you were supposed to say, “No, you aren’t heavy!”
Dave: Oh, right...can we try it again?
*long pause*
Me: I totally wore the wrong shoes. My feet are killing me.
Dave: Well, if you can’t make it, I’ll carry you!
Me: You can’t carry me…I’m way too heavy!
Dave: You’re not heavy….but I’m also really strong!
Eh, I tried. :) We made our way to Durham Castle and took tons of pictures, and then I dragged him through town as I made my way to little boutiques to pick up souvenirs for my family. Around 2:30 we headed to a coffee shop, for more talking and as 3 pm drew close, we mutually decided that we weren’t ready for the date to end. He figured that if he waited to leave town, rush hour would end and the drive back to Scotland would be easier. I decided that I couldn’t manage the steep cobblestone-y walk back up to the Castle with the girls.
So, we met the girls to (show them that I was still alive and) tell them that I wasn’t going with them, but would instead see them at the church at 5 pm. Dave and I popped into a few bookstores, sports equipment stores, and electronics stores, and at about 4:55, he walked me to the church.
We stood on the curb outside of the church hugging and joking about how we should definitely do it all again…in 13 more years! And then, I pulled away from the hug and we looked into each others’ eyes. I think I said something like, “Umm…should we?...”
And he leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips.
I melted. We said our good-byes again and split ways. We didn’t end up seeing each other again during the trip because with the wedding stuff, and his plans, and my travel itinerary…it just wouldn’t work out. But, it was a really magical day that I will treasure always.
Now, make no mistake, I’m not about to pack up my belongings and move to Scotland. We were really just two old friends who met in England and had this really great day together…and happened to kiss each other because it felt right. But who knows, maybe we'll meet up again in another 13 years...Before Sunrise/Before Sunset - style.
-L
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