social engagements

I've had a busy week since my last post, each night sitting in front of my computer debating on whether to write or sleep. Sorry, but sleep keeps on winning! I'll try to get better. Here's my week in summary by social engagements:

tuesday - wine tasting
On Tuesday night I headed out to a wine-tasting/fundraiser for a friend who has been doing mission work in South Africa for the past year. It was a house party where we tasted wines from SA, followed by her talking about the work she's been doing there and a slideshow. It was a really nice event. I didn't meet anyone new and almost all of the guys were either married, other acquaintances, or much older men. I mean, not that the event was about me meeting potential suitors...I'm just saying!

wednesday - open house
A friend of mine recently got her photography business up and running and moved into a really cute studio with 4 other girls who sell things from: event planning to portraits to invitations. The studio is an old 2-story house that has been converted into boutiques and is absolutely adorable! About a month ago, she took photos for my business website. Her assistant called a week earlier to invite me to exhibit my pieces at an open house they were having for all of the businesses and their friends & clients. I thought that it was going to be a super casual wine-and-cheese sort of event, but I went early to set up my pieces so that it wouldn't be awkward for me to set up during the event.

I drove up and saw the following: (1) suited waiters approaching the party; (2) a live orchestra warming up on the porch; (3) a florist dropping off bouquet after bouquet of fresh flowers; (4) guys setting up the bar; (5) a complimentary valet parking stand; etc. etc. It was fancy, fancy!

So after I finished setting up and the party was just about to begin, I made a B-line for the door and headed home to get pretty for the party. I was afraid that my knit skirt and flip flops just weren't going to cut it! I ended up in a flattering strapless black dress; strappy heals, and a purple cardigan. I invited a close guy friend (whom I used to have a crush on, but later decided that I was probably a little confused about my feelings toward him) and a close girl friend and we headed to the party.

We made it out back to where a D.J. was playing and a few of the girls were dancing on a dance floor. It looked like a classic outdoor wedding reception, complete with an open bar and photo booth; minus the happy couple. One of the funniest things that happened that night was this girl who came up to us (one of the boutique owners) and welcomed us and asked how we found out about the party. We mentioned that we knew one of the girls from church. Then she asks me, "Oh, is she your photographer?" as I nodded yes, she starts jumping up and down yelling, "Congratulations!! Congratulations!!" over the loud music, and then goes away dancing. I realized a minute later that she thought I meant "wedding photographer" and that my friend and I were engaged! Too funny! The night was wonderful! I met a boy that I definitely felt an initial interest in, but then it turned out that he had a girlfriend...who he was flirting right in front of! I need to work on deciphering social clues like this one!

friday - happy hour, wine bar, taco bar
On Friday night, I went out with a big group of friends to a pub. I know most of the people through church and we had a great time chatting and catching up as a group. Afterward, a friend invited me to a summer kick-off wine celebration that one of her friends was hosting at a local wine bar. My friend Ellen and I went to check out the place and to try the wine. As we were sipping away, I suddenly realized that between us we didn't have enough cash to pay for wine and dinner, and remembered that the host had explicitly asked for each person to bring cash so that the check could be split easily. When our glasses were empty, we paid for our drinks, and headed out to a cheap, but yummy ended taco place instead. We enjoyed a nice chat over tacos before I headed home to get some much needed rest before my long holiday-weekend drive up to Ft. Worth.

monday - memorial day bbq
I drove back from Ft. Worth this afternoon, realizing that when I was over halfway back that I'd left my cell phone with my sister. Luckily, I had my lucky back-up trusty work phone, that I'd actually intended to leave behind for the weekend, but forgot in my laptop bag. When I got into town, I thought it would be a good idea to call the friend throwing the party to ask what to bring, so I wouldn't be doubling up on what was already there.

When she answerd, she frantically asks if I got her phone message, and then asks if I'd invited Curtis to the BBQ, which I hadn't. He'd been rude to me during our few interactions (Gmail chat & the phone) since the break-up and I figured that it was probably too soon to see him even though we'd somewhat reconciled by the end of the last phone call.

She goes on to explain that she intentionally didn't invite him to the party because she thought it would be awkward and was shocked when he just showed up! (Close to on-time, at that!) What kind of person does that?!?! My guess is that he found out about it from Facebook (seeing that I, and a few other mutual friends) were attending the event. But, he totally came uninvited, and totally tried to act like he was invited...even having the nerve to thank my friend for the invite! Needless to say it was an extremely uncomfortable and awkward evening, but I was thankful for the heads up! I'm at least glad that he lives out of town and that we don't have to run into each other often.

Well, anyway, this week is not looking as "socially-exciting" as last week...but we'll see if anything shakes up!

- L

note to self

Don't go speed dating with friends....Or better yet, only go speed dating with friends who have a completely different taste in guys. I matched with the sensitive CO boy I'd mentioned below, Darrell. The problem is, however, that so did all three of my other friends.

So, now the dilemma is whether or not one of us should email him first, or wait and see who he picks. Or, we could always go for the third option of going on a group date with him, "Bachelor"-style. Just picture this: we pick up two roses, and all go on a ridiculously elaborate date with him which would of course include a helicopter ride, and lots of champagne. Then the following week...fantasy dates!

"Will you accept this rose?"

-L

the boys of my youth

So, I think I should have started out this blog with this entry, because I think that it will explain a bit where I'm coming from. However, I have this problem with telling super-long stories--my friends tease me about it all the time. So, I'm limiting each past relationship to 5 sentences or less. This will be tough, but its for the best. This blog is all about moving on, right? Throughout this entire blog, some names may be changed to protect the innocent & the guilty.

Ok, here goes.

1. clay - 08/03-06/04 - "the amorous big brother"
Clay was my first serious relationship and the first guy I ever kissed. He looked out for me, and treated me like a little sister, which in retrospect makes me feel sort of icky & incestuous. We met through mutual friends at school, although he was the older grad student when I was a senior in college. I liked him a lot, but he had other ideas. He's now married.

2. malik - 06/05-07/05 & 07/06-11/06 & random flings - "the african lover"
Malik definitely kicked off my secret fetish for african boys. We had a very passionate relationship--passionate fights--passionate lovin', basically a constant roller coaster ride. We broke up when he moved to California for grad school, but we've seen each other here and there when he's been in town. He's currently in a long-term, not-so-committed relationship. He called me a few nights ago to tell me that he's moving back to Houston this winter...probably without the girlfriend.

3. Mo - 12/07 - 05/08 - "the green card"
Mo was from Mali, a guy I accidentally met online--maybe someday I'll explain how you, too, can "accidentally meet someone online." We dated for about 5.5 months and broke up after some crazy stuff with his visa and him practically asking me to consider marrying him for a green card....ummm....NO! After that whole incident, I lost a lot of trust for him which I couldn't ever regain. He's since moved back to Mali. I've got no clue on his relationship status.

4. curtis - 11/09 - 4/10 - "the ultra-conservative workaholic"
Curtis is really close friends with my friend's brother. We met at several group events before we started dating in November. I was his first kiss and he was the first boy I introduced to my sisters--we broke up the week before the parent introduction. While things started out amazingly, he transformed into a workaholic at the beginning of the year, and for the last 2 months of the relationship, I felt like I was desperately trying to recover the spark. We talked for the first time in over a month last night, and I finally got the bit of closure I was needing. He's currently single--but I'm totally over it.

With each new relationship, I felt like I was figuring out a bit more here and there about what I was looking for. Maybe the next one will really be "the one."

-L

7 first dates

I went on seven dates tonight. Well, seven dates, that lasted approximately 8 minutes each. Yes friends, I went speed-dating. On Friday night, after I'd finished putting the final touches on a sewing project, I saw an ad on dear old Facebook for a speed-dating event hosted by this company called DateandDash.com. I emailed 3 close girl friends that I thought would be interested and after transactions were made, and we were all signed up, I couldn't help but to have a minor panic attack thinking, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" or better yet, "What did I get us all into!" I mean, you know me...or maybe you don't know me. But I don't normally DO stuff like this.

But, after shelling out 35 bucks...and remembering my new-found mission, I decided to try to have fun with it.

We all met at a very empty bar where we got our dating numbers, got our rating cards, and made small talk to avoid looking at all of the guys in the room. Literally, it felt like a middle school dance...well, minus the alcohol and minus the sketchy mirrored walls. Picture this: bad music, the girls huddled together talking to one another, the boys huddled together making jokes. Everyone avoiding eye-contact.

One of the guys started flirting with the organizer (I think someone forgot to tell him that she wasn't playing the game.)

8:30 arrived, it was time to begin.. The girls sat down at their respective numbers, the guys joined them, and small talk commenced. The first guy I talked to was the great opener. He was genuine and around the minute 6 mark we discovered that he had come with 3 of his guy friends. (Umm, 4 girl friends, 4 guy friends....can someone cue the camera crew for the cheesy chick-flick plot?) We laughed a little, just started opening up...and *ding!*...Time to switch partners.

Next guy was first the first guy's friend. He acted a bit weird when I asked him what he did for a living, but he explained that he was trying to make his bank job sound more interesting. We covered the basics: job, education, family, etc. I got annoyed when he'd ask a question, and then as soon as I answered, ask the same question again. But, I forgave him. It was a little intimidating knowing that you only had 8 minutes to talk and perhaps a little confusing trying to keep the dates straight.

So, I won't bore you with all the details, but all-in-all it was very fun. Really.

There were a couple of duds like the guy that I had nothing to talk about with, and the overly-religious guy who wouldn't step down from his soap box. And then a couple of gems: the cute guy who confessed to me that he doesn't like scary movies, and the guy from CO who has a close connection with his family.

After date number 7, we turned in half of our date cards (the other half was kept so that we could enter our matches online) we stood around talking to the guy-group and later comparing notes after they left. From the sounds of it, we all fell for one of the guys who wasn't part of the group, so it will be interesting to see if he matches with any of us. The 4/7 probability its looking good in our favor. And it will be interesting to see who, if anyone, matches me at all. I was pretty generous with my selections, choosing 5 of the 7 guys, so I guess, in 72 hours we'll see if anything was meant to be.

secretly waiting,
-L

a fresh start

This is my second attempt at blogging, the first one lasted about 4 entries, before I started feeling like my life wasn't exciting enough to blog about and I quit. But, I have hope for this one. This blog has a purpose. Half-inspired by a friend who has created a similar blog about her dating adventures in SF, and half-inspired by the deplorable state of my social life, I'm hoping to document the process of dating and finding true love. I'm secretly waiting to finally feel that joy that my engaged and married friends are always alluding to. I'm finally taking an active role in this process. No more "waiting around for it to happen when I least expect it." Wish me luck! (And hope that I don't make too much of a fool of myself along the way!) -L