adventures in online dating part 1: A little bit of CRAZY

The first date I went on about a month and a half ago was with a guy that I'd like to kindly refer to as "Jimmy from Alabama."

Now Jimmy and I didn't have a long, drawn-out relationship. We literally met online one late Thursday night, chatted on the telephone that same night for about an hour, and a little the next night, and made a date for Sunday evening.

If you know me well, you'd know that I am the type of girl that can point out a red flag when she sees one. You'd also know that on more than one occasion, I've proceeded straight through those very red flags when curiosity has taken over.

Red Flag #1: So, on Sunday afternoon a few hours before the date, Jimmy and I are chatting on the phone. I've got a long drive in front of me and he's calling to confirm that the date is still on and to tell me the name of the restaurant he's chosen for us. Naturally, in the course of our typical get-to-know you questions, I ask if he's got a roommate or if he lives alone. He tells me that its an "interesting and long" story. I tell him, that I've got the time.

He proceeds to explain that when he moved to Texas in the Spring, his ex-girlfriend wanted to move down with him. He says that he figured that she could help out with the rent and other bills and decided that the move-in would be a good idea.

I ask, "So you've got a cute two bedroom, split floor plan apartment so that you never see her and forget that your ex is living with you, right??"....I'll let you guess his response.

Red Flag #2: Dinner is at 6 and I call him around 5 to double-confirm our date. It's still on. I get pretty and head for the door. As I approach, my cell phone rings. "Jimmy" pops up on a caller ID, along with a second phone number that I do not recognize. Jimmy hangs up suddenly, and the mystery caller is waiting on hold. I answer, hesitantly, and I hear a woman's voice which says, "Hey, Jimmy asked me to call you. He's going to be running a little late."

Me: "Who is this?"
Mystery Caller: "This is Andrea, who is this?....umm, I mean, is this Elena?"
Me: *hangs up*

Dialing Jimmy's number

Me: Hey Jimmy...
Jimmy: Hey there, whats up? I'm about half-way there!
Me:...who's Andrea?
Jimmy: Oh, that's my ex-girlfriend, why do you ask? Wait, how did you know her name?
Me: Well, Andrea just called and told me that you asked her to call to say that you were running late.
Jimmy: I'm not running late! I'm almost there!
Me: Did you ask her to call me?
Jimmy: No, of course not! I mean, I told her that I was going on a date, but I didn't give her your number or anything.
Me: Really? Well, then how does this girl have my number?
Jimmy: I don't know! Maybe she looked at our joint phone account online [Red Flag #3] and found your number?
Me: I don't know what to say.
Jimmy: Listen, I realize that I've put you in an incredibly awkward situation. If you don't want to go out tonight, I'll understand..
Me: Ugh! I don't know. On one hand, I just spent an hour getting ready and I'd been really excited to meet you. On the other hand, I'm not interested in the drama. I'm not that type of person and I'm just weirded out right now.
Jimmy: I can at least promise you that she won't do anything crazy to you, but the choice is still yours.
Me: Ok, I guess I'm on my way, but I'll be a bit late now.

So, I drive towards the restaurant and try to call two of my girls friends whom I'd talked to the date about. I was counting on one of them to talk me out of going. But, alas, neither friend answered. I proceeded onward.

As I approached the restaurant, I heard my phone chime to alert me of this text message:
"Its okay that you hung up on me. But, I was just passing along a phone message. I hope that you two have a really great time tonight!

I walk into the restaurant, cell-phone in hand, and spot a guy who can only be Jimmy, sitting near the door and fiddling with his phone. He is attractive in a nerdy sort of way and he looks up and smiles when he spots me. At this point, I'm feeling a combination of annoyance and anger over the crazy girl, and I think I literally opened with, "Umm, so Andrea just texted me..."

He greets me, looking uncomfortable, and the hostess leads us to our table. Small talk ensues. I'll admit that I was pretty closed as we started talking, still feeling puzzled and annoyed, but the more we talked, the more I warmed up and started to let my guard down. By the end of the meal, I was smiling and laughing so, when he asked me if I'd be up for going to a movie, I easily said, "Yes."

He followed me in his car to the theater, and as I parked and started walking up to the building, my cell phone starts blowing up. I received 4 phone calls all in a row from...guess who? Andrea! Needless to say, I am pissed at this point!

He walked up to greet me and I immediately stopped him and said, "What is going on? Are you married? Engaged? Do you have a baby with her? Why is this crazy girl contacting me??"

So, Jimmy starts stammering and trying to explain. His Southern accent is in full effect. He tells me that he lived with Andrea in AL before moved down to Houston. She wanted to come to live with him, even though they were having major relationship issues. He agreed to let her come, but claims that he warned her that he wasn't going to work on the relationship. Although, he did admit that he thinks those were her intentions.

From there we talked a lot about this seemingly disturbed girl, about what it would take for him to transfer his lease to another apartment, etc. He told me that she's apparently psycho-called one of his female friends before, after stealing his phone...so I'm not the first. Great.

Needless to say, we missed the movie, but we eneded up heading to a fast-food, sit-down place for root beer floats and more talking. He kept repeating, "I feel like I'll never see you again after everything that's happened tonight." I told him that, no matter what, I thought he needed to get is life in order (i.e. ditch the crazy ex) if he ever wanted to ask me out again. Crazy Andrea texted me a few more times at the end of the night, but I thankfully haven't heard from her since that night.

I called it off about a week later since I'm fairly certain that he's not going to get his stuff in order anytime soon. He seemed to understand, but then called me back about 30 minutes later to ask if we could try things again if he finally got his life sorted out. I told him maybe. I'm glad the crazy has been put to bed for now.

and she's back!

So, I started this blog with the premise that I'd go on lots of dates--analyzing & sharing them with all of my "faithful" readers along the way and documenting my journey to finding true love.

Dear readers, I have let you down. Have no fear, however, I haven't fallen in love, yet. But, I have been holding back on some juicy--or perhaps not so juicy--details from you all.

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

I am dating!

But no, not in the steady-new-relationship sort of way, yet. No, I'm talking: 4 dates, 3 guys, 1 month. Names have been changed to protect...well, someone. Here are the stories.

one interesting development

So, literally, about 10 minutes after I posted my last entry I get a text from Derek, "Hey L, what's going on?" so I write back and tell him that I'm having a pretty quiet Friday night. (I was babysitting my niece at the time. )He tells me that he's hanging out with another guy from work, Troy (note: super cute, polite, and sweet--but only 24), and invites me to join them at a bar.

Now, I weigh my options. While I as all cozy and ready for bed, and not much in the mood to go out for a drink...I realized that if I told Derek "no" again, he will, definitely give up on me forever! So, I tell him that I will come out as soon as my sister & her husband get home.

I ended up convincing Derek & Troy to meet me at a bar closer to my home, where a few girlfriends of mine happened to be hanging out. We meet at the bar, and after he hugs me, he says, "Its about time I get you to come out with me!" and then turns to Troy and says, "Man, I've been trying to have drinks with this girl for like, 3 months!" (It's actually been closer to 4 but I wasn't going to correct him.)

So, the group of us hung out and chatted and joked, and had a really, really fun evening. It was surprisingly flattering when Troy would ask me a question about myself, and he'd respond with, "Oh, that's right! Derek told me about that." Which means, that Derek has talked to him a bit about me.

We didn't have very much time to talk alone, so I can't quite tell what's going on, if anything. And, I haven't quite decided if I want anything to happen at this point...but I'm definitely interested in seeing where things are headed. At one point during the evening, Troy and Derek went out to the patio and then Derek came back in to ask me to join them. They were venting to me about work, and then a girl approaches to talk to Troy, so Derek leaned over to talk to me. He looks in my eyes and after commenting on how dark my eyes are says, "So, I've been meaning to ask you..." and then we're interrupted by a bar tender who gives us the 5 minute warning. At this point, Derek, has had enough to drink and completely loses his train of thought...so I'll never know what he was going to say.

We closed down the bar at 2 am and I drove a friend home, drove myself home, and then stayed up texting with Derek until about 3:30 am.

I guess we'll see what happens...

- L

where have I been?

I have been terrible about keeping up with this thing, but in my defense its because, relationship-wise, nothing thrilling has happened to me in the past month, so there hasn't been much to write about. I'm getting kinda discouraged.

the updates:
speed-dating: 2 of the 4 girls that went speed-dating went on dates with boys from the event. I am not one of them. All 4 of us matched with the same guy, and he chose to ask out my one of the other girls. 2 of the girls matched with the same other guy, who asked both of them out...and one of them accepted. I have to say 50% is pretty fair odds, right?

curtis: I still haven't rekindled the friendship with my most recent ex-boyfriend...and I'm still not sure if I'd like to. He's tried Gmail chatting with me a couple of times and has sent a few texts since our last awkward encounter, but I'm still getting this uneasy feeling in my tummy when I think about seeing him. its been 3 months at this point, but I think we need more time.

the wedding: My friends WI wedding was absolutely beautiful! I was worried a bit about traveling alone...well, I guess I shouldn't say "worried" per say, but I was wishing that I had someone to accompany me. But, everything actually turned out really well. I mapped a few art boutiques and restaurants that I wanted to check out and actually appreciated having the freedom to explore alone. On my trip back, I kept thinking about how differently the weekend would have been if I'd gone with a date.

office romance: After my latest non-intentional rejection to Derek, I think that he's completely given up on me. I've tried texting him a bit here and there...and he responds, but just doesn't really ask me to hang out anymore. I don't blame him, I'd give up on me too...but I'm secretly hoping he hasn't completely lost hope that I will hang out with him. But, the surprising twist is that I was texting him from the airport on Sunday and...apparently, he got the dates of the concert mixed up and its actually not until July 24th. I re-invited myself to go with him by saying "if the invitation still stands, I'd love to go" so...it looks like that may possibly be a go in a couple of weeks.

We'll see...

- L

note to self #2

I went to David's Bridal on Sunday to start looking at bridesmaid dresses for a friend's wedding in England in September. She's letting the 3 bridesmaids pick the most flattering dresses in any shade of green or yellow.

After about an hour of shopping around, I ended up finding a dress that I liked a lot, but they didn't have it in my size, so I didn't feel comfortable ordering it, without trying it on in the correct size.

Note to self: (1) Don't go dress shopping at David's Bridal alone ever again. Its pretty darn awkward having to go outside of the dressing room to look at yourself since, guess what, There are no mirrors inside of the individual dressing rooms. That would make way too much sense! (2) Watch your back. Twice...TWICE...someone walked in on me changing. Yes folks, I was just standing there in nothing but a bra & underwear because David's Bridal has decided that its a great idea not to put locks on the door.

Ugh!

-L

my secret office (non) romance

So, there's this guy at work....

Of course, this is how the story is supposed to start. I've hesitated to talk about him because we've got this sort of strange non-romance happening due to really unfortunate timing. Because of this, I've had to often decline his invitations to hang out. I keep thinking that he's going to stop asking me out, but he still seems to keep pursuing me after a few week-long delays. Today, something happened that makes me think that he just may like me as more than just a new buddy.

Derek was one of the first people I met when I started working at my new job in October. He's got this really adorable charm about him, and the crush started when he walked over to my desk to tell me something, and then got nervous and almost forgot what he wanted to say. He's one of those cute boys, that doesn't know he's cute, and therefore he's not cocky about it. Since I work in a position where I have access to a lot information, I quickly discovered that he is almost 2 years younger. Now, I'm not an ageist or anything, but my personal cut-off is 18 months--my youngest sister's age.

Anyway, I started to date Curtis in November, and my feelings for Derek were back-burnered. It made talking to him easier. I mean, I wasn't nervous around him or worried about what to say because I was taken. We started this flirty sort of friendship, not that we hung out outside of the office. Just chatted during fire drills or when I had to get information from him or his help with a work question.

The first time he asked me to hang out was on St. Patrick's day, but I didn't get the message until several days later. He then proceeded to ask me out two more times before I was actually able to make it. We just met at a sports bar and sipped on beers and talked. He was there with another friend, that we don't work with, but the two of us ended up talking the whole time and the other guy was just sort of "chaperoning." He then started texting me on random Friday and Saturday nights just to see what I was up to, occasionally asking me on to hang out, but usually just to chat.

He's mostly asked me out on occasions when I've been out of town and I've asked him out twice when he couldn't make it. After his latest unintentional rejection, we through a phase of not really talking to or seeing one another. We sit at opposite ends of the building and have to make an effort to visit one another's desks. This can be a bit awkward when you don't have a purpose for the visit.

This week, Derek has dropped by my desk a few times for "work business" but we've ended up chatting for a bit each time. Today, after walking my my desk and giving me his usual adorable smile, he walks back to his desk and sends me an email:

--------------------------------------------------------------

Date: June 10, 2010, 2:24 pm

To: lb@workplace.org

From: de@workplace.org

Subject: July 3

Do you like the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

--------------------------------------------------------------

Date: June 10, 2010, 2:29 pm

To: de@workplace.org

From: lb@workplace.org

Subject: July 3

Yes

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Date: June 10, 2010, 2:35 pm

To: de@workplace.org

From: lb@workplace.org

Subject: July 3

Are they coming?

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Date: June 10, 2010, 2:37 pm

To: lb@workplace.org

From: de@workplace.org

Subject: July 3

Remember this date.

If you haven't been to Concert Place, then you will on July 3. It won't be the real thing, but there's a tribute band playing. I went this past weekend, and another band was there, playing different stuff. Anyway, it was awesome, and it would cool if you came along.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Date: June 10, 2010, 2:39 pm

To: de@workplace.org

From: lb@workplace.org

Subject: July 3

Aww. I jut bought a plane ticket to a friend's wedding on that day. So, I'll be living it up in....Wisconsin! (yikes!) Wanna come? ;)

Please keep me posted on other concerts, though. I love live music and would really love to go sometime.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I felt really excited and really bummed at the same time. I'm happy that he didn't ask me prior to my friend's wedding, though...because I very well may have opted for a date over seeing one of my closest friends get married--which wouldn't have been cool.

We texted for about 2 hours tonight and things went pretty well.

So....I'm not getting my hopes up or holding my breath. But, its just kinda exciting.

-L

single girl takes a stand

So, I decided yesterday to just suck it up and to buy a plane ticket to Milwaukee, WI (about 45 mins from the wedding site), rather than Chicago. I was able to get a ticket that was only about $75 more expensive than the Chicago tickets I'd been looking into, and I figure that I can handle a 45 minute drive alone in just one "foreign" state. Plus, when you factor in the cost of gas, its pretty much the same, right? While my friend offered to include me in the airport carpools that he is trying to arrange, I think that I'm just going to rent a car for myself so that I can do some exploring on my own. I'll also have control on when I head to/from the airport. I fly in on Friday, July 2, and return back to Houston in time for the 4th festivities, and a day off on the 5th.

I'm so excited about the wedding! I can't wait to see a few old college friends and to finally meet the girl that my friend is marrying, after hearing so much about her! Also looking forward to traveling to & exploring somewhere new. And, who knows? Maybe I'll meet a Wisconsin cheese-maker on the airplane and will fall madly in love!!!

Yeah right!

- L

single girl seeks wedding date, stat!

About a week or two ago I received an invitation in the mail from one of my super-close college guy friends who is getting married in Wisconsin the weekend of the 4th of July. I'd known about the wedding since December. This is one wedding that I definitely wouldn't want to miss because he was definitely one of my best friends at school (especially during senior year).

However, I'm trying to figure out what I should do. See, while the wedding is in Wisconsin, it is literally like $200 cheaper to fly through Chicago. My ex-bf, Chris, had friends in Chicago so we'd planned to fly into Chicago on the 2nd, visit his friends, drive to WI on the 3rd for the wedding, continue sight-seeing in Chicago on the 4th & 5th and then return home late Monday night. The plan was perfect! Until, we broke up of course. Towards the end of the relationship, when the end was in sight, I intentionally avoided any "lets purchase plane tickets" chatter because I knew the relationship was over, and thought it would be incredibly awkward to go through with buying the ticket knowing that we weren't going to make it.

So, now I'm facing a huge dilemma. I've found a great flight that departs Houston on Friday evening, arriving in Chicago at around 10 pm. And then returning to Houston on Sunday, the 4th prior to the holiday festivities. To me, it makes more sense for me to fly in on Friday night, the night before the wedding, so as not to miss any of the wedding on Saturday, especially in case the flight is delayed or the rental car company has a hard time finding my reservation. But, I'm just not certain that I'm up for making a 2.5 hour drive alone through two "foreign" states at 11 pm on a Friday night. Or, if I'm even comfortable reserving a hotel in Chicago and making that same drive alone on Saturday morning.

Basically, I need/want/would love some company!

So, here's my plea: (1) Is anyone interested in going to Chicago with me?!? While I can't pay for your ticket, I'd definitely cover your lodging, food, transportation, etc. (2) If you cannot come, do you have a friend in Chicago that'd be up for being my wedding date?

Seriously?

- L

social engagements

I've had a busy week since my last post, each night sitting in front of my computer debating on whether to write or sleep. Sorry, but sleep keeps on winning! I'll try to get better. Here's my week in summary by social engagements:

tuesday - wine tasting
On Tuesday night I headed out to a wine-tasting/fundraiser for a friend who has been doing mission work in South Africa for the past year. It was a house party where we tasted wines from SA, followed by her talking about the work she's been doing there and a slideshow. It was a really nice event. I didn't meet anyone new and almost all of the guys were either married, other acquaintances, or much older men. I mean, not that the event was about me meeting potential suitors...I'm just saying!

wednesday - open house
A friend of mine recently got her photography business up and running and moved into a really cute studio with 4 other girls who sell things from: event planning to portraits to invitations. The studio is an old 2-story house that has been converted into boutiques and is absolutely adorable! About a month ago, she took photos for my business website. Her assistant called a week earlier to invite me to exhibit my pieces at an open house they were having for all of the businesses and their friends & clients. I thought that it was going to be a super casual wine-and-cheese sort of event, but I went early to set up my pieces so that it wouldn't be awkward for me to set up during the event.

I drove up and saw the following: (1) suited waiters approaching the party; (2) a live orchestra warming up on the porch; (3) a florist dropping off bouquet after bouquet of fresh flowers; (4) guys setting up the bar; (5) a complimentary valet parking stand; etc. etc. It was fancy, fancy!

So after I finished setting up and the party was just about to begin, I made a B-line for the door and headed home to get pretty for the party. I was afraid that my knit skirt and flip flops just weren't going to cut it! I ended up in a flattering strapless black dress; strappy heals, and a purple cardigan. I invited a close guy friend (whom I used to have a crush on, but later decided that I was probably a little confused about my feelings toward him) and a close girl friend and we headed to the party.

We made it out back to where a D.J. was playing and a few of the girls were dancing on a dance floor. It looked like a classic outdoor wedding reception, complete with an open bar and photo booth; minus the happy couple. One of the funniest things that happened that night was this girl who came up to us (one of the boutique owners) and welcomed us and asked how we found out about the party. We mentioned that we knew one of the girls from church. Then she asks me, "Oh, is she your photographer?" as I nodded yes, she starts jumping up and down yelling, "Congratulations!! Congratulations!!" over the loud music, and then goes away dancing. I realized a minute later that she thought I meant "wedding photographer" and that my friend and I were engaged! Too funny! The night was wonderful! I met a boy that I definitely felt an initial interest in, but then it turned out that he had a girlfriend...who he was flirting right in front of! I need to work on deciphering social clues like this one!

friday - happy hour, wine bar, taco bar
On Friday night, I went out with a big group of friends to a pub. I know most of the people through church and we had a great time chatting and catching up as a group. Afterward, a friend invited me to a summer kick-off wine celebration that one of her friends was hosting at a local wine bar. My friend Ellen and I went to check out the place and to try the wine. As we were sipping away, I suddenly realized that between us we didn't have enough cash to pay for wine and dinner, and remembered that the host had explicitly asked for each person to bring cash so that the check could be split easily. When our glasses were empty, we paid for our drinks, and headed out to a cheap, but yummy ended taco place instead. We enjoyed a nice chat over tacos before I headed home to get some much needed rest before my long holiday-weekend drive up to Ft. Worth.

monday - memorial day bbq
I drove back from Ft. Worth this afternoon, realizing that when I was over halfway back that I'd left my cell phone with my sister. Luckily, I had my lucky back-up trusty work phone, that I'd actually intended to leave behind for the weekend, but forgot in my laptop bag. When I got into town, I thought it would be a good idea to call the friend throwing the party to ask what to bring, so I wouldn't be doubling up on what was already there.

When she answerd, she frantically asks if I got her phone message, and then asks if I'd invited Curtis to the BBQ, which I hadn't. He'd been rude to me during our few interactions (Gmail chat & the phone) since the break-up and I figured that it was probably too soon to see him even though we'd somewhat reconciled by the end of the last phone call.

She goes on to explain that she intentionally didn't invite him to the party because she thought it would be awkward and was shocked when he just showed up! (Close to on-time, at that!) What kind of person does that?!?! My guess is that he found out about it from Facebook (seeing that I, and a few other mutual friends) were attending the event. But, he totally came uninvited, and totally tried to act like he was invited...even having the nerve to thank my friend for the invite! Needless to say it was an extremely uncomfortable and awkward evening, but I was thankful for the heads up! I'm at least glad that he lives out of town and that we don't have to run into each other often.

Well, anyway, this week is not looking as "socially-exciting" as last week...but we'll see if anything shakes up!

- L

note to self

Don't go speed dating with friends....Or better yet, only go speed dating with friends who have a completely different taste in guys. I matched with the sensitive CO boy I'd mentioned below, Darrell. The problem is, however, that so did all three of my other friends.

So, now the dilemma is whether or not one of us should email him first, or wait and see who he picks. Or, we could always go for the third option of going on a group date with him, "Bachelor"-style. Just picture this: we pick up two roses, and all go on a ridiculously elaborate date with him which would of course include a helicopter ride, and lots of champagne. Then the following week...fantasy dates!

"Will you accept this rose?"

-L

the boys of my youth

So, I think I should have started out this blog with this entry, because I think that it will explain a bit where I'm coming from. However, I have this problem with telling super-long stories--my friends tease me about it all the time. So, I'm limiting each past relationship to 5 sentences or less. This will be tough, but its for the best. This blog is all about moving on, right? Throughout this entire blog, some names may be changed to protect the innocent & the guilty.

Ok, here goes.

1. clay - 08/03-06/04 - "the amorous big brother"
Clay was my first serious relationship and the first guy I ever kissed. He looked out for me, and treated me like a little sister, which in retrospect makes me feel sort of icky & incestuous. We met through mutual friends at school, although he was the older grad student when I was a senior in college. I liked him a lot, but he had other ideas. He's now married.

2. malik - 06/05-07/05 & 07/06-11/06 & random flings - "the african lover"
Malik definitely kicked off my secret fetish for african boys. We had a very passionate relationship--passionate fights--passionate lovin', basically a constant roller coaster ride. We broke up when he moved to California for grad school, but we've seen each other here and there when he's been in town. He's currently in a long-term, not-so-committed relationship. He called me a few nights ago to tell me that he's moving back to Houston this winter...probably without the girlfriend.

3. Mo - 12/07 - 05/08 - "the green card"
Mo was from Mali, a guy I accidentally met online--maybe someday I'll explain how you, too, can "accidentally meet someone online." We dated for about 5.5 months and broke up after some crazy stuff with his visa and him practically asking me to consider marrying him for a green card....ummm....NO! After that whole incident, I lost a lot of trust for him which I couldn't ever regain. He's since moved back to Mali. I've got no clue on his relationship status.

4. curtis - 11/09 - 4/10 - "the ultra-conservative workaholic"
Curtis is really close friends with my friend's brother. We met at several group events before we started dating in November. I was his first kiss and he was the first boy I introduced to my sisters--we broke up the week before the parent introduction. While things started out amazingly, he transformed into a workaholic at the beginning of the year, and for the last 2 months of the relationship, I felt like I was desperately trying to recover the spark. We talked for the first time in over a month last night, and I finally got the bit of closure I was needing. He's currently single--but I'm totally over it.

With each new relationship, I felt like I was figuring out a bit more here and there about what I was looking for. Maybe the next one will really be "the one."

-L

7 first dates

I went on seven dates tonight. Well, seven dates, that lasted approximately 8 minutes each. Yes friends, I went speed-dating. On Friday night, after I'd finished putting the final touches on a sewing project, I saw an ad on dear old Facebook for a speed-dating event hosted by this company called DateandDash.com. I emailed 3 close girl friends that I thought would be interested and after transactions were made, and we were all signed up, I couldn't help but to have a minor panic attack thinking, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" or better yet, "What did I get us all into!" I mean, you know me...or maybe you don't know me. But I don't normally DO stuff like this.

But, after shelling out 35 bucks...and remembering my new-found mission, I decided to try to have fun with it.

We all met at a very empty bar where we got our dating numbers, got our rating cards, and made small talk to avoid looking at all of the guys in the room. Literally, it felt like a middle school dance...well, minus the alcohol and minus the sketchy mirrored walls. Picture this: bad music, the girls huddled together talking to one another, the boys huddled together making jokes. Everyone avoiding eye-contact.

One of the guys started flirting with the organizer (I think someone forgot to tell him that she wasn't playing the game.)

8:30 arrived, it was time to begin.. The girls sat down at their respective numbers, the guys joined them, and small talk commenced. The first guy I talked to was the great opener. He was genuine and around the minute 6 mark we discovered that he had come with 3 of his guy friends. (Umm, 4 girl friends, 4 guy friends....can someone cue the camera crew for the cheesy chick-flick plot?) We laughed a little, just started opening up...and *ding!*...Time to switch partners.

Next guy was first the first guy's friend. He acted a bit weird when I asked him what he did for a living, but he explained that he was trying to make his bank job sound more interesting. We covered the basics: job, education, family, etc. I got annoyed when he'd ask a question, and then as soon as I answered, ask the same question again. But, I forgave him. It was a little intimidating knowing that you only had 8 minutes to talk and perhaps a little confusing trying to keep the dates straight.

So, I won't bore you with all the details, but all-in-all it was very fun. Really.

There were a couple of duds like the guy that I had nothing to talk about with, and the overly-religious guy who wouldn't step down from his soap box. And then a couple of gems: the cute guy who confessed to me that he doesn't like scary movies, and the guy from CO who has a close connection with his family.

After date number 7, we turned in half of our date cards (the other half was kept so that we could enter our matches online) we stood around talking to the guy-group and later comparing notes after they left. From the sounds of it, we all fell for one of the guys who wasn't part of the group, so it will be interesting to see if he matches with any of us. The 4/7 probability its looking good in our favor. And it will be interesting to see who, if anyone, matches me at all. I was pretty generous with my selections, choosing 5 of the 7 guys, so I guess, in 72 hours we'll see if anything was meant to be.

secretly waiting,
-L

a fresh start

This is my second attempt at blogging, the first one lasted about 4 entries, before I started feeling like my life wasn't exciting enough to blog about and I quit. But, I have hope for this one. This blog has a purpose. Half-inspired by a friend who has created a similar blog about her dating adventures in SF, and half-inspired by the deplorable state of my social life, I'm hoping to document the process of dating and finding true love. I'm secretly waiting to finally feel that joy that my engaged and married friends are always alluding to. I'm finally taking an active role in this process. No more "waiting around for it to happen when I least expect it." Wish me luck! (And hope that I don't make too much of a fool of myself along the way!) -L