You can stop me if you get sick of hearing this phrase someday, but for now, let me have my moment: I went on the most amazingly wonderful 9 hour date with Eli today/tonight! Its 1:30 a.m. and I'm just getting in!
It happened like this: Eli and I were texting this afternoon as I was trying to get a bit of work done, but was feeling incredibly distracted by the amazing day that was alluding me outside. We were sending back in forth those typical "whatareyoudoing?" texts, when he asked if I would be up to going on a walk at a local nature center. We agreed to meet at 4:30 and I literally didn't start fretting until 5 minutes before I had to walk out of the door when I realized that I was wearing a similar sweater to the one I wore on our first date, and that my jeans looked awkward with my tennis shoes, and that I just had to change clothes!
When we arrived at the nature center, we found out that it had closed early for a special event, and ended up heading to a huge park in the middle of the city. I dug around in my trunk until I found a dollar store frisbee that I always keep, and we headed to a clearing to toss around the frisbee and to talk. We're both excellent frisbee throwers, if I do say so myself, so we started challenging ourselves by throwing with our left hands until we mastered that as well, and then decided to walk and talk towards a soccer game that we saw going on earlier. As we approached, the guys were packing up, and we ended up in the parking lot near our cars watching people play with radio controlled model airplanes for a while.
From there, we decided that it'd be fun to grab dinner and a movie, since there was a new comedy out he was interested in, and we were both hungry. We had a great dinner, talked about some serious somber issues, and made it to the theater minutes before the film started. The movie was hilarious and we laughed and laughed, and he did this cute thing, where he'd lean in really close to make comments on the movie to me. I swear, every time his forehead touched part of mine, my heart would flutter.
The movie let out around 10 pm, and I figured that the night was over...but as we were walking towards the parking lot, he asked if I'd be up for playing a few games at Dave and Buster's and I happily obliged. So, we played and laughed like kids, and again, my heart fluttered every time he'd touch the small of my back, or put his hand on my shoulder to pull me in for a comment.
When we'd spent all of our money, and cashed in our game tickets, he said "What next?" and then suggested that we go out for drinks at a bar. So, I suggested one of my favorite places, that is super-casual since neither of us was dressed up.
I introduced him to his first frozen screwdriver, and he informed me that it just might be too "girlie" for him to consume in the future. We talked a lot about school and kept staring intently at one another throughout our conversations until I'd get nervous, smile, and look away before resuming eye contact.
We stayed at the bar until 1:00 a.m. and then he walked me to my car. As we were walking, he asked me if I had any idea when I woke up this morning that I'd have such a full day. When we reached my car, he gave me a huge hug--so that our frozen ears rubbed against each other, and told me that he had so much fun with me today.
The feelings are so mutual,
-L
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
match point
On Sunday I found out that my Tuesday night obligation would be moved to Thursday, so as Eli and I were texting, I asked him if we could switch our tennis game back to Tuesday. He thought it was fine, and I checked the weather which would be 30+ degrees warmer on Tuesday vs. Thursday, so it was definitely a go.
I met him at the tennis club he usually plays at, that happens to be about 5 minutes from where I work. He smiled when he saw me, and we shook hands, before he pulled me in for a quick side hug and we headed for the court. We started out by warming up, hitting a few balls back and forth and talking, and then played about 9 games--because I was desperate to start running around to warm up. We laughed a lot, complimented each other on awesome shots, and Eli beat me...a lot. At one point, I jokingly complained that I was never going to win, and he started fudging the score so that I could get in a win. I'd hit the ball way out of the court, and he'd claim that it was good. I'd call out 15-30, and he wouldn't let me serve until I said 30-15. It was sweet. He told me afterwards that he thought I was a "really good tennis player....just not..." I finished for him, "...consistent." I guess we'll just have to practice more so I can get better, right? :)
After tennis, we headed for dinner and then sat at the restaurant and talked for a couple of hours before we agreed it was getting late and he had to get home to study. We hugged, in a half-side, half-front awkward-kinda-hug, and he pressed his cheek against mine and then we parted ways. Of course, he called to make sure I made it home safely again. So sweet!
We've been texting for the past hour or so, and I have to keep telling myself not to fret and to just let things happen naturally. But people, its hard to not let this bit of excitement go to my head. We're playing tennis again on Sunday, and he just suggested that we start playing together a couple of times each week if we can coordinate our schedules. Oh, and he told me that I make him nervous! Yeah right!
Keeping calm, and carrying on,
L
I met him at the tennis club he usually plays at, that happens to be about 5 minutes from where I work. He smiled when he saw me, and we shook hands, before he pulled me in for a quick side hug and we headed for the court. We started out by warming up, hitting a few balls back and forth and talking, and then played about 9 games--because I was desperate to start running around to warm up. We laughed a lot, complimented each other on awesome shots, and Eli beat me...a lot. At one point, I jokingly complained that I was never going to win, and he started fudging the score so that I could get in a win. I'd hit the ball way out of the court, and he'd claim that it was good. I'd call out 15-30, and he wouldn't let me serve until I said 30-15. It was sweet. He told me afterwards that he thought I was a "really good tennis player....just not..." I finished for him, "...consistent." I guess we'll just have to practice more so I can get better, right? :)
After tennis, we headed for dinner and then sat at the restaurant and talked for a couple of hours before we agreed it was getting late and he had to get home to study. We hugged, in a half-side, half-front awkward-kinda-hug, and he pressed his cheek against mine and then we parted ways. Of course, he called to make sure I made it home safely again. So sweet!
We've been texting for the past hour or so, and I have to keep telling myself not to fret and to just let things happen naturally. But people, its hard to not let this bit of excitement go to my head. We're playing tennis again on Sunday, and he just suggested that we start playing together a couple of times each week if we can coordinate our schedules. Oh, and he told me that I make him nervous! Yeah right!
Keeping calm, and carrying on,
L
Saturday, February 5, 2011
adventures in online dating part 5: Sweet Eli
I went on an amazing date today with a boy from the interwebs named Eli. Eli and I have been exchanging messages for the past 3 weeks or so, and by Monday I thought that it was time we met up. I messaged him to ask him out for coffee, he accepted, and we met at one of my favorite places at 3 pm. I beat him there, ordered an iced chai latte, and he called a couple of times to (1) tell me he was running about 5 minutes late, and then (2) tell me that he was having a difficult time finding parking.
I settled at a table, and looked up from the Tetris game on my phone, just as he was walking in. We shook hands and talked as he was standing in line for hot chocolate. The first thing I noticed is that he has these amazing medium-brown eyes that I had to keep looking away from, because they were making me nervous (in a girlie-giddy kinda way). We settled in at a new table, started asking and answering those usual first-date kinda questions. Everything felt really comfortable. Eli is from Cameroon and has a deliberate, gentle way of speaking that kinda makes you hang onto his words. Our conversation had a few natural long pauses but, overall, flowed pretty easily.
After our first round of drinks, we decided to walk a couple of blocks to a frozen yogurt place that we'd just discussed liking, and sat and ate yogurt and talked about our families and our future babies (well, not "our" future babies, per say..but how many kids we wanted, where we wanted to live, etc, etc). Then, when the yogurt was consumed, we strolled around for another hour and a half popping in and out of shops and talking, and talking, and talking. Eli and I seem to have similar personalities: we're both relatively reserved, but really great at one-on-one conversations. We quickly developed a rapport with one another which made it easy to joke around throughout the date.
Eventually we made our way back to my car that was parked in front of the coffee shop and he told me that he'd like to ask me for dinner, but that he'd already made plans to meet up with a friend. He, instead, asked me out for dinner on Tuesday night. I told him that I'd be busy on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, so we settled for a tennis match and dinner after work on Thursday (if the weather is nice), or just dinner if it is not. And then we shook hands again, because it seemed like the most appropriate gesture and he watched me get into my car before walking back to his.
He called me about 10 minutes after I got home to make sure that I made it safely and to tell me that he enjoyed our date! And now, Thursday seems so far away...
Please excuse me while I melt!
-L
I settled at a table, and looked up from the Tetris game on my phone, just as he was walking in. We shook hands and talked as he was standing in line for hot chocolate. The first thing I noticed is that he has these amazing medium-brown eyes that I had to keep looking away from, because they were making me nervous (in a girlie-giddy kinda way). We settled in at a new table, started asking and answering those usual first-date kinda questions. Everything felt really comfortable. Eli is from Cameroon and has a deliberate, gentle way of speaking that kinda makes you hang onto his words. Our conversation had a few natural long pauses but, overall, flowed pretty easily.
After our first round of drinks, we decided to walk a couple of blocks to a frozen yogurt place that we'd just discussed liking, and sat and ate yogurt and talked about our families and our future babies (well, not "our" future babies, per say..but how many kids we wanted, where we wanted to live, etc, etc). Then, when the yogurt was consumed, we strolled around for another hour and a half popping in and out of shops and talking, and talking, and talking. Eli and I seem to have similar personalities: we're both relatively reserved, but really great at one-on-one conversations. We quickly developed a rapport with one another which made it easy to joke around throughout the date.
Eventually we made our way back to my car that was parked in front of the coffee shop and he told me that he'd like to ask me for dinner, but that he'd already made plans to meet up with a friend. He, instead, asked me out for dinner on Tuesday night. I told him that I'd be busy on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, so we settled for a tennis match and dinner after work on Thursday (if the weather is nice), or just dinner if it is not. And then we shook hands again, because it seemed like the most appropriate gesture and he watched me get into my car before walking back to his.
He called me about 10 minutes after I got home to make sure that I made it safely and to tell me that he enjoyed our date! And now, Thursday seems so far away...
Please excuse me while I melt!
-L
not that into me
I've come to the conclusion that Mark has completely forgotten about me, for real this time. I thought we had something going there with our emails...but its been about 2.5 weeks since he last wrote, and I'm thinking its a probably a no-go. I'm a smart girl and, I guess I feel like, if he were interested, he'd write me. Plain and simple. Let's say it all together: He's just not that into you.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
..and then there was one...
It's 1:30 a.m. and I just woke up from a midnight nap. I'd told myself I was *not* going to fall asleep on my couch once again...but I swear that love seat just sucked me in!
I decided to check my email one last time before dragging myself to bed and I was surprised to see that both Mark and Terrell both wrote me back a few hours ago...just about 15 minutes apart from one another.
I went for Mark's email first. It was sweet--like the first one--and I decided that I've completely forgiven him for making me wait the first time. Mark mentioned that his schedule is super-busy for the next few weeks, as is mine, so it sounds like this thing will remain over email for a while. I'm good with that. It'll give us some time to see if this could be something.
Terrell's email was shocking:
I can completely understand what you are looking for. I guess I am really looking for a no strings attached sexual relationship, or to fall in love! (I know completely different sides of the spectrum) I have been in a long term and wonderful relationship before, so I know how good that can be, unfortunately I don't think that right now I am in the position in life to commit myself to something which requires that much attention.
I can understand if that is not what you are looking for. It is only a phase I am in now and not ideal I know. Just wanted to be honest from my end.
- Terrell
I can't get over the fact that I misread him so completely--and I'm sure my girlfriends will be surprised as well. Each girl told me individually after the event that they thought this guy was perfect for me. Man, out of all of the guys in the room that night, he definitely wouldn't have been the one I would have pegged for being in it for sex...but I guess I was wrong.
Ick! I'm speechless.
- L
I decided to check my email one last time before dragging myself to bed and I was surprised to see that both Mark and Terrell both wrote me back a few hours ago...just about 15 minutes apart from one another.
I went for Mark's email first. It was sweet--like the first one--and I decided that I've completely forgiven him for making me wait the first time. Mark mentioned that his schedule is super-busy for the next few weeks, as is mine, so it sounds like this thing will remain over email for a while. I'm good with that. It'll give us some time to see if this could be something.
Terrell's email was shocking:
I can completely understand what you are looking for. I guess I am really looking for a no strings attached sexual relationship, or to fall in love! (I know completely different sides of the spectrum) I have been in a long term and wonderful relationship before, so I know how good that can be, unfortunately I don't think that right now I am in the position in life to commit myself to something which requires that much attention.
I can understand if that is not what you are looking for. It is only a phase I am in now and not ideal I know. Just wanted to be honest from my end.
- Terrell
I can't get over the fact that I misread him so completely--and I'm sure my girlfriends will be surprised as well. Each girl told me individually after the event that they thought this guy was perfect for me. Man, out of all of the guys in the room that night, he definitely wouldn't have been the one I would have pegged for being in it for sex...but I guess I was wrong.
Ick! I'm speechless.
- L
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
what I'm looking for
So, Terrell’s email on Sunday night really got me thinking about what I’m looking for. I guess that if I’m going to have a blog about dating…I should probably be able to answer that pretty easily.
I stopped to think about my past relationships; what they lacked, why they didn’t work out…and everything boiled down to a single word: Companionship
To me, that word always conjures up images of an old unmarried couple that is, like, always together because they treasure their relationship, but don’t want to mess things up by getting married. Strange visual, I know.
This is not what I mean.
Basically, I realized that every single one of my past relationships lacked the strong foundation of a committed friendship which is why they, ultimately, failed. There was nothing to fall back on when the passion was over, or the when the arguments got a little too personal and hit way too close to home. There were never those deep connections and thoughts that—you know, no matter what the circumstance—I’ll truly be there for you. I’ve had these connections in several platonic guy-friendships, but never with a boyfriend. Strange, I know.
What I’m looking for is a companion, an amazing friendship…that is so much more than just a friendship. I want someone to share my life with.
So, in an attempt to not scare the boy off, this was part of my response to Terrell on Monday:
As far as relationships go, I think that I'm really just looking for companionship. And, while that word may have some intense/negative connotations, I guess I just mean that I'm looking for someone to hang out with & explore the city with, cook dinner with occasionally, go to movies with, grab coffee with, talk with, etc. I'm interested in building a good foundation and seeing where the relationship goes.
I think that in some of my previous relationships, I got caught up in the idea of "being in the relationship" or "being with" the other person that the foundational part was seriously lacking.
I don’t know if/how he’ll respond, but I think it’s the most honest I could’ve been with a boy that I dated for 5 minutes. Take it or leave it.
- L
I stopped to think about my past relationships; what they lacked, why they didn’t work out…and everything boiled down to a single word: Companionship
To me, that word always conjures up images of an old unmarried couple that is, like, always together because they treasure their relationship, but don’t want to mess things up by getting married. Strange visual, I know.
This is not what I mean.
Basically, I realized that every single one of my past relationships lacked the strong foundation of a committed friendship which is why they, ultimately, failed. There was nothing to fall back on when the passion was over, or the when the arguments got a little too personal and hit way too close to home. There were never those deep connections and thoughts that—you know, no matter what the circumstance—I’ll truly be there for you. I’ve had these connections in several platonic guy-friendships, but never with a boyfriend. Strange, I know.
What I’m looking for is a companion, an amazing friendship…that is so much more than just a friendship. I want someone to share my life with.
So, in an attempt to not scare the boy off, this was part of my response to Terrell on Monday:
As far as relationships go, I think that I'm really just looking for companionship. And, while that word may have some intense/negative connotations, I guess I just mean that I'm looking for someone to hang out with & explore the city with, cook dinner with occasionally, go to movies with, grab coffee with, talk with, etc. I'm interested in building a good foundation and seeing where the relationship goes.
I think that in some of my previous relationships, I got caught up in the idea of "being in the relationship" or "being with" the other person that the foundational part was seriously lacking.
I don’t know if/how he’ll respond, but I think it’s the most honest I could’ve been with a boy that I dated for 5 minutes. Take it or leave it.
- L
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
(side note)
While I was on the exciting “high” from the fact that Terrell and I matched on Wednesday, I nonchalantly checked my email while gushing with my girlfriend on just how exciting it would be if she hit things off with Travis, and I with Terrell…and how we could go on double dates…and have a double wedding*…and let our future babies go on play dates…and…
And…oh my goodness!...Mark wrote back!
He apologized profusely about not writing me for nearly a month and said that he was just really busy around Christmas and was just getting around to catching up on emails. He hoped that I didn’t think he was a jerk. Mark said that his cousin, my co-worker, indeed told him that she thought we would be perfect for one another, but that he’d let me and time decide that. He sent a rather lengthy email introducing himself (impressive) and then asked how my week was going and if I had any more questions for him.
I made him wait until Saturday before responding. (Hey…don’t judge me…he made me wait nearly a month!) I’m patiently waiting for his response.
- L
*Oh, of course I’m totally kidding about the double wedding bit…
And…oh my goodness!...Mark wrote back!
He apologized profusely about not writing me for nearly a month and said that he was just really busy around Christmas and was just getting around to catching up on emails. He hoped that I didn’t think he was a jerk. Mark said that his cousin, my co-worker, indeed told him that she thought we would be perfect for one another, but that he’d let me and time decide that. He sent a rather lengthy email introducing himself (impressive) and then asked how my week was going and if I had any more questions for him.
I made him wait until Saturday before responding. (Hey…don’t judge me…he made me wait nearly a month!) I’m patiently waiting for his response.
- L
*Oh, of course I’m totally kidding about the double wedding bit…
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